It's Forbidden... So Why Do I Like Him? 19

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Rachel T.-It is sad, but it makes for a good beginning!

Ani-Thanks!

I NEED ANSWERS-Not every story is exactly perfect and happy, and in good time. You have to wait for these things.

LovelyPalacios- I know.

K.B.P-Had to add a bit of sadness.

Kristina C-Yeah, it was sad. And she is in denial.
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Belle

It was cold by the time we got back home - I mean at Declan's house. His home. Not mine. It was raining, verging on snowing, and I still felt empty.

Desiare and Michael were at either side of me, holding my hands as we went inside. I remember Declan telling them about watching me until he was back, but I was still surrounded by fog. Desirae led me up into their bathroom and washed off my face and hands.

"Not as much blood this time," she murmured while rubbing my cheek with a wet washrag. "I'll get some more of my brother's clothes. You'll be okay?"

I nodded slowly. "Yes, thank you."

Desirae looked worried, but she left for a minute. Michael walked in and sat on my lap.

"What happened to your Dad?" I asked him. I knew it was weird to ask an eight year old, but I had to ask it.

Michael was curled up on my lap, small and sweet, and answered, "He left when I was three. Declan says anybody can have a kid, but it takes somebody special to raise them. We have different Dads, but he's still the best brother ever. He's smart, and tough, and teaches me how to defend myself cause I'm small." Michael looked up at me, brown eyes wide. "Dad used to beat me and Declan and Dessie. Declan always got the worst of it, because he defended us. Mom never did anything about it."

I closed my eyes and kissed his forehead, rocking him gently. "I'm sorry."

Michael shook his head. "Don't give me your sympathy. Be friends with my brother. He needs them. I don't want him to be lonely." I chuckled softly. "He stays away from people, but not you. Have you ever wondered why?"

"Because I'm a vampire and he hunts them, and I'm a vampire who won't leave him alone," I said, and smiled a bit.

Michael shook his head, giggling. "No, it's more than that." He laid his head back down on my chest. "What happened to your Dad?"

I combed my fingers through his silky light brown hair. "He's married to my Mom. I don't see him a lot - he works so we don't have to. He loves my Mom a lot, you can tell by the way he looks at her. He's going to be worried that Jeanie's not drinking her blood."

"Declan said you have a brother? What about him?" Michael asked.

"He's Alumit. He was born first, about two years older than me. He's my best friend. I'm nothing like him; he's simple and funny and wonderful. I get along with him, though. We lived together before all of this."

Michael nodded. "Is he going to be okay?"

I nodded. "Alumit's always okay. He was scared when I had to leave to help people, but he's watching over Mom and Dad."

Michael nodded slightly and held me more. I wrapped my arms around his back and rocked him soothingly, humming a song I didn't know. Desirae came in a bit later, with some of her Mother's clothes this time. It was a cute pink T-shirt with graphic designs, some black jeans, a dark brown coat with white fur trim, and a brown scarf. I tied my hair back with a chocolate-colored ribbon Desirae gave me. I was currently barefoot, but I'd borrowed a pair of their Mother's boots. They were flat like mine, but more snow boots than anything else.

I sat on their couch and stared blindly at the television, feeling empty. Why did I feel like this? Jeanie was alright. Declan said she... he said she was in a better place. People said that when they meant...

I fidgeted and got off the couch, walking around the living room. "You want something to eat? I can make spaghetti and grilled cheese sandwiches," Desirae volunteered.

I shook my head. "Make something for Michael. I have to go for a walk."

"But it's raining -"

"Just for a bit." I was already out the door.

Walls were closing in on me. "No, she's not. Sh can't be..." I was breathing quickly. She wasn't. She was a fighter -

She was fifteen and hated fighting, a gentle voice murmured.

No, she would have fought. She wouldn't let them...

Unless they threatened you, it coaxed.

I closed my eyes and sank into the mud. The rain was freezing and I was surrounded by trees, but I started sobbing anyway. I grasped either sides of my head, sinking my fingers into my hair. "It's always my fault!" I screamed. "I couldn't get to Kharis on time - Jeanie's not dead!"

"Belle?" a voice asked. It was the only light in the darkness.

I didn't look at him. The mud was staining the clothes, and I was soaked, but I didn't care.

A leather coat wrapped around my shoulders, shielding me from more rain. "Do you think catching pneumonia will make up for everything?" Declan asked. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up. I remained limp. "Come on, we have to get you inside."

I shook my head. "Are you always this stubborn?" he asked gently.

"Why are you talking like that?" I asked.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm sick and dying," I stared at him.

He raised his eyebrows. "You're going to be sick and dying of pneumonia, if I don't get you out of here. Come on." He started letting go, but I slid down to the ground so he wrapped his arms around my waist again. "Belle." He sounded a bit irritated.

"I don't wanna go."

He glared. "I'll carry you if I have to."

"Fine. I'm not moving."

Declan sighed. "Fine, but get the jacket, it slipped off."

When I bent down to get the leather jacket, Declan lifted me up, one hand around my knee while the other was under my shoulder blades. I glared. He smiled contently, a bit menacing.

"I had to lift you up somehow. And, look, you even grabbed the jacket out of shock," he said, grinning. "Try and put it on. I can't have you dying on me. Not like that will make your parents enjoy my company anymore than their forced to."

I glared at him the whole time while I put it on. I couldn't deny that it smelled good and kept me warmer, but he was so annoying sometimes.

But you love it, a voice hummed.

Shut the hell up, I thought back. He's my friend. Nothing more. He probably thinks of me as a pest.

Because you've shown him so few signs that you're into him, it argued.

I breathed and set my head on his chest. I heard the beating of his heart, wondering why it was so fast, like he was anxious. He smelled nice, spicy from the Ambrose in his blood, then he smelled like lime and a cool Spring breeze from the Cian in him. I liked it, but it was hard not to bury my face in is neck and breathe it in. It was weird, how great I felt being with him, how the emptiness and hurt just disappeared.

He was killing me with the friend thing.

Show a couple of signs, stupid girl. He's pretty oblivious but show them! the voice in my head yelled.

I breathed and touched my nose to his collarbone. This was enough for me. Being with him, even if he didn't feel the same. I'd be there. Always.

And I've known this guy for how long?

I grinned, chuckling softly. Mom had said she hadn't known Dad for long until she fell in love with him. I think it was two weeks. Humans took weeks to fall in love, to vampires time was nonexistent. I remembered a show, how a guy confessed to a girl they'd been life-long friends with, and when she demanded why now he said that love didn't know time.

Well, they ended up okay. I just hoped I didn't have to wait twenty years of this. It was an ache in my chest that wouldn't go away.

I cuddled deeper into his arms and thought about the possibilities.
***
Alumit was sitting on the couch. He ran over and took me out of Declan's arms, hugging me close. I'm sure Alumit was giving Declan a death glare, but I was buried in his shoulder-length black hair. He smelled more like cologne than his natural scent, but the lemon lime smell was nice all the same.

When he finally backed up, his eyes were teary and he looked sad. "My God, are you -" I started.

He shook his head. "No, no. I can't believe it. I just can't believe it. It's all my fault."

"No, it isn't," I cooed, not quite sure what he was talking about.

He shook his head, about ready to start crying. Not the first time, I'm guessing. "If I hadn't called Mom -"

"Alumit," Declan said it like a warning.

My brother glared at him. I cringed. "What?"

"Can I talk to you alone for a sec?" Declan asked. "Kind of urgent."

Alumit kissed my forehead. "I'll be right back." He pointed his chin to the bag on the couch. "Figured you might want some clothes that are yours."

Then he followed Declan outside. Sometime when I was in the shower, the truth finally caved in on me. I sat in the shower, letting the water pour down on me, and cried.
***
Alumit couldn't look me in the eyes for the rest of the time he was there. He left at about nine P.M., giving me a kiss on the forehead and hugging me before he left. I stole a pillow from Desirae's room and took the blanket Michael had given me and curled up on the couch, shivering.

Declan walked in, frowning when he saw me on the couch. I was curled up in black PJ bottoms with red skull prints on them and a tight red camisole. I wore a bra underneath since I was at somebody's house. I didn't want anything embarrassing to happen.

He peered over the back of the couch and asked, "Why are you trying to sleep on my couch?"

"Because I can't sleep at my house," I said blankly.

"Yeah, but we have a guest bedroom. Even if my house is horrible, we have a guest bedroom. Well, Mom had a pregnancy scare when we moved in, but you get the point." he looked down at me. "Can you walk this time?"

I thought about how good it felt to be held by him, how I felt whole and there was no hurt. You'll only hurt yourself, a voice murmured. I nodded my head and followed Declan up the stairs. It was the room next to his, painted emerald-green with white trim. The bed was light green with little while vine-like patterns. It was cute. Since it was against the wall, a nightstand was at its side, and a little truck at the end.

It was cozy and small. I liked it. I sat down on the end of the bed, turned on the little bedside light, and stared at the white carpet floor.

"Are you okay?" Declan asked. "You're acting weirder than usual."

I shook my head. Declan shifted his weight from foot to foot for a second, then sat down by me on the bed.

"She's dead, isn't she?" My voice broke, and tears were in my eyes suddenly.

Declan sighed. "Yeah, she is."

I nodded and laid my head on his shoulder. Tears were streaming out of my eyes now. "I better go apologize to Desirae; I snapped at her when I found Jeanie."

Declan moved to put a hand on my shoulder. In the process, my head fell from his shoulder to his chest. He put his arms around me out of reflex, one around the back of my head and the other between my shoulder blades.

"Belle..." Declan murmured.

"Mm-hm," I mumbled, burying my face in his shirt. The familiar smell was back, stronger again. My memory of it didn't do a justice; it was much better now. I smiled, closing my eyes contently. This is enough, I thought to that negative voice in my head.

"I... um... I should... You should..." Declan said slowly, like he was losing his train of thought.

"You should what?" I sounded sleepy.

"I forgot," he said, laughing nervously. Declan started to move. "I better go check on Michael..."

I grabbed his hand when he started to get up. "Stay. Please."

He bit his lip, then sighed. "Fine. But I have to make sure Michael and Desirae are okay."

I nodded and laid on the bed, watching as he walked away.
***
About an hour later, Declan came back. He was wearing, what I guess is, pajamas; black T-shirt with PJ bottoms. I was humming softly to myself, thinking of the shadows outside, which I could see clearly through the window, and looked at little animals in the woods.

I patted the spot beside me. "Come here." He walked over shyly, obviously nervous. He stopped at the edge of the bed. "Come here." I patted the spot on the bed next to me for emphasis.

Declan sat down on the bed next to me. I could hear his heart, and I'm sure the people down the street were as well.

I rolled my eyes, smiling. "Relax, it's not like I'm going to take advantage of you or something."

"Damn," Declan joked nervously.

I chuckled and laid down, tucking the blankets at my chin. I stared at the ceiling. After a moment of thinking, Declan joined me. His hands were on top of the covers, though, so the blankets only went to his upper stomach. I could feel his stare on my face, and I couldn't help but feel self-conscious.

I finally sighed and slid my eyes over to him, angling my body sideways so I could look at him completely. "Do have any clue what's going to be happening soon?"

"Well, we'll probably fail out of school, and the hunters will be attacking out of fear now..." Declan breathed. "I'm taking the notion of nothing good."

I nodded and curled closer to him, laying my head on his chest and a hand under my chin. His heart was beating faster than normal, probably because he was nervous, but I found the sound of it soothing all the same. I closed my eyes.

Declan put an arm around me, angled so it went from my shoulder to waist. "We're not going to get out of this clean, Belle."

I felt myself smile slightly. "We?"

I felt the heat that suddenly rushed to his cheeks. I would have killed to see Declan blush, but I'd see it again. Even if it would be the last things I ever saw. "You, me, Michael, Desirae, your brother, parents, friends - anybody who is a vampire is going to have to fight for their lives now."

I nodded, then was struck by a confusing thought. "Where's your Mom?" I sat up, using one arm to hold me up so I could look down at him. "I thought you would have stayed with her. Wouldn't she had beena safer choice than here?"

Declan's eyes were shadowed. "She was drunk, as per usual. I couldn't leave Mikey and Dessie there." He let out a hard laugh. "Michael's so used to getting beer for her it's like getting a soda."

My lips parted to say something, but nothing came out. I stared down at him, wordless, thinking of the horrible memories that he'd shown me, then laid back down by him, burying my face in his neck. His scent was strong there. I was almost drunk on it.

"I'm sorry," I murmured. "It'll be okay."

Declan shook his head, unconvinced. "Belle, we've got to get out of this city. That would mean killing at least a dozen hunters. I think they're going to be putting the town in lockdown."

I stopped breathing. My parents were here, Alumit and everybody else. Could I get them out?

Declan noticed this. "Breath. I'll probably be able to hold them off, seeing I'm more or less a traitor now. You guys can get out. Where Mikey and Dessie will stay, I have no clue. The hunters may just stake the three of us and get it over with."

I punched his chest. Weakly, but it made a point. "Don't say that. We're going to get out of here. All of us."

Declan's voice was barely a whisper. "How can you be so sure?"

I saw Jeanie's pale face. Her limp brown hair, the graying orange eyes. My baby sister was gone, and I'd gone insane. How often had that happened to Declan?

I shivered. Declan noticed and pulled his arm around me tighter, curling me against his body. I smiled and kissed his neck lightly, just letting myself get the enjoyment of thinking that I kissed him at least once.

"I'll protect you," i murmured. Declan's hand had started tracing a pattern on my hip. "I'll make sure you don't go through anything again."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Belle," Declan whispered.

I smiled slightly, suddenly sleepy. "Don't worry. I will. I've only broken my promise once."

"To who?" Whenever I didn't answer, he apologized. "Sorry."

I shrugged. Nothing hurt with him right beside me. Everything seemed like a bad dream, and he was there when I woke up. "It's no big deal."

"Your sister died, Belle. It is a big deal."

I kissed his neck again, letting my lips linger on the scars there he'd gotten from vampires fighting him. "Don't worry so much, I'll protect you."

Declan chuckled softly. just as tired as I was. "Isn't that my line?"

Right as sleep seeped in, I mumbled, "Not with me, it's not."
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~*See? Not always sad with me. Please comment!*~