Is This Relationship Worth Saving?

When a relationship begins to get stale and unhappy, both partners have to get to a point where they realize that things are bad and must either commit to saving the relationship, or decide to end the relationship. Saving a relationship is possible if both partners are committed to fixing the relationship and if the relationship itself has redeeming value. Saving a relationship is possible if both parties stay focused and have decided they want the relationship to work.

Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. Often times the status quo is better than the unknown. Being unhappy feels safer than what might come next when the relationship ends. A good relationship is separate from the people involved. It requires care and nourishment as its own entity. Both partners bring both positive and negative energy to the relationship and are equally responsible for it success or failure. How to save a relationship starts with this realization.

The next step in saving a relationship is pinpointing the problems in the relationship. Separating the symptoms (fighting) from the problems (poor communication skills) is a crucial step in saving a relationship. For example, infidelity, a major cause of breakups, is a symptom of a more pressing problem. People don’t cheat on their spouses to hurt them; rather they cheat because they are trying to fill a need. For example, a lack of intimacy can lead to a straying spouse.

External stressors such as money problems or time constraints can lead to infidelity. Human beings want to feel loved and accepted. They want to feel valued and successful. When things are tough at home it is often easier to feel this way outside the relationship. While it is easy to look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair is typically the real problem. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, or your communication skills, or the money issues, you have little hope of fixing your relationship. It is when you start to deal with the core issues rather than symptoms, that you can save the relationship.

Once you have identified the core problems in your relationship, it is time to start communicating about them. This can be very difficult as it requires patience, empathy, and courage. It may also require acknowledgement of your own flaws and forgiveness of your partner’s flaws. Through verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s feelings you will begin to re-build trust and love. This kind of true communication is very difficult. You will feel a range of emotions (as will your partner). It is easy to let these emotions get in the way of really listening to your partner or being heard by them. This phase of re-building your relationship can take a long time. Continued commitment by both partners in this process is a key element in saving your relationship and making your relationship work.

Once the problems in your relationship are clear to both of you, it is time to put together a plan of action to solve them. This part of saving your relationship can be fun. Once you are both working at making your relationship better you will begin to forget the pain and difficulty. Take small steps and make suggestions that both of you can follow through on. For example, if communication is a problem in your relationship, set aside just 10 minutes a day to check in with each other.

Once you have mastered that, make it 15 minutes. If money is a problem, work on a budget together and make cuts that will feel easy at first and help salvage your relationship. Rather than buying coffee on your way to work, drink it at home together. This will save money and give you time together to talk. These small but concrete steps will go a long way in fixing your relationship.

Fixing a relationship is an ongoing process. People in happy relationships do these things all the time. Once you have learned how to enjoy each other again, have worked together on solving your problems, and have forgiven each other, you will have begun the process of saving your relationship.

Getting an ex girlfriend back is easy with these steps.