Is Santa Really An Alien?
Who is the real illegal alien?
So, I went on up to Shreveport,
But they wouldn’t let me in
I didn’t have a passport
And they treated me like sin
I traveled on to New York City
Just looking for a job
They said "Yes, we do have pity,
But your kind’s just here to rob"
You don’t have a valid passport
You don’t have a work permit
And we know you’ve been to Shreveport
So now, you had better git
On down that long and winding road
‘Cause you don’t belong with us
So pick up that heavy load
And find the nearest Greyhound bus
That will take you back to wherever
It is that you came from
And make sure that you never
Come back--not with your dad nor with your mom
So I got on that sad old Greyhound
To make that mournful trip
Yes, I was homeward bound
But I didn’t have much zip
Just another illegal alien
Without a penny to my name
It seems no matter where I’ve been
The outcome is always just the same
But I’m not a threat to anyone
You shouldn’t be afraid of me
Animosity? Grudges? I have none
But why can you not see?
That you fools are in real danger
What you do just isn’t right
You kick me out, but a total stranger?
You let come down your chimney at night?
You write him a little letter?
You leave him a little snack?
You act like he’s your better?
You don’t worry he might give you a whack?
And take off with all your money?
After all, he carries a big sack
You think I’m being funny?
You don’t think that I know jack?
Hey, this freak dresses up in red
From his head down to his feet
He creeps around while you’re in bed
Thinking you’re so safe under your sheet
He drives a big red sleigh
A million miles an hour
That makes him powerful, I would say
While we are left to cower
He flies across all borders
In that big red sleigh
Breaking presidential orders
How can he act that way?
What if he’s really spying
For some nefarious alien race
And in his big red sleigh he’s trying
To make us disappear without a trace
So when you call me illegal alien
It almost makes me giggle
And I ask you once again
Why am I alien but this big red freak is regal?
But they wouldn’t let me in
I didn’t have a passport
And they treated me like sin
I traveled on to New York City
Just looking for a job
They said "Yes, we do have pity,
But your kind’s just here to rob"
You don’t have a valid passport
You don’t have a work permit
And we know you’ve been to Shreveport
So now, you had better git
On down that long and winding road
‘Cause you don’t belong with us
So pick up that heavy load
And find the nearest Greyhound bus
That will take you back to wherever
It is that you came from
And make sure that you never
Come back--not with your dad nor with your mom
So I got on that sad old Greyhound
To make that mournful trip
Yes, I was homeward bound
But I didn’t have much zip
Just another illegal alien
Without a penny to my name
It seems no matter where I’ve been
The outcome is always just the same
But I’m not a threat to anyone
You shouldn’t be afraid of me
Animosity? Grudges? I have none
But why can you not see?
That you fools are in real danger
What you do just isn’t right
You kick me out, but a total stranger?
You let come down your chimney at night?
You write him a little letter?
You leave him a little snack?
You act like he’s your better?
You don’t worry he might give you a whack?
And take off with all your money?
After all, he carries a big sack
You think I’m being funny?
You don’t think that I know jack?
Hey, this freak dresses up in red
From his head down to his feet
He creeps around while you’re in bed
Thinking you’re so safe under your sheet
He drives a big red sleigh
A million miles an hour
That makes him powerful, I would say
While we are left to cower
He flies across all borders
In that big red sleigh
Breaking presidential orders
How can he act that way?
What if he’s really spying
For some nefarious alien race
And in his big red sleigh he’s trying
To make us disappear without a trace
So when you call me illegal alien
It almost makes me giggle
And I ask you once again
Why am I alien but this big red freak is regal?
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