Investing Time in Relationships

My wedding anniversary is coming up and my husband and I have been contemplating what to do on that day. Our focus has been on finding places to travel to, celebratory dinners, and the like. Nothing seemed right and I realized that all those ideas lacked an important aspect of an anniversary - the honoring of our union and our WORK together. Relationships are work - loving work - and this year we've done a remarkable job.

It took awhile for me to find this man. One of the reasons was that I didn't want to work at a relationship - I didn't want to change. I wanted someone who was like frosting on my cake. Someone to play with, laugh with, set up house and make love with. But I had a lot on my plate. I was busy. I didn't want to spend time working at it.

"More" is the word of the times - more people to talk to, more things to do, more to worry about, more money, more cars, more years. But, are we really getting more? We live in a closed system and while we can grow, we only really move energy at a certain rate. We can channel more of certain types of energy, but we must sacrifice other types. We can multi-task on several projects, but we sacrifice true communication and intimacy. Intimacy is where we connect. Connection hones us, changes us, nurtures us and grows us. Without it we are spinning our wheels processing more meaningless stuff and we come up feeling empty.

I found one fascinating way to communicate and date without really taking the time to change and connect: Internet and phone dating. This distinctive dating pattern has developed in our society that runs fast and skims the surface, as we multi-task our way to power and success. I emailed and even spoke on the phone with men randomly for weeks at a time. Some guys I never met. Some of the men I actually met, after a time of emails and phone talks and I was shocked at how different the person actually was. I realized that something was clearly lacking that wasn't clear on the phone or in an email.

Years into the search I understood that relationships take time and effort. We can't work 80 hours per week continuously and develop a relationship. We can't stay the same and do the same things when we are in a successful relationship. We will grow. We can't keep communicating via electronic equipment and imagine that we are really developing a relationship. Relationships take communication and communicating between two people takes time and human (not electronic) connection. There is no way to truly know people without spending quality time with them. There is no quick fix to a misunderstanding or a difference in approach to a situation. It has to be worked through.

I look back on this year of joy and struggle with pride and amazement. My husband and I worked hard this year. I didn't grow my business the way I had planned. Instead I grew us and in so doing I grew me. And, interestingly that growth has lead to not only a deeper and fuller relationship with my husband, but to one with myself. Consequently the quality of my work has increased. I believe I am now primed to be even more successful in my career because of who I became this year as I took the time to work on loving my husband more and more. It's truly been a great year.

If you'd like assistance with improving the relationships in your life, contact me at debhill@yourintuitivelife.com orvisit my website at www.yourintuitivelife.com.