Instantaneous Affection

Every summer, my family makes a point of driving five hours to South Dakota from our home in Minnesota, so we can visit my grandparents. This summer, however, has been slightly different. For starters, it's our last summer where we can drive to South Dakota. Come November, we hope to be living in Arizona. This weekend, Labor Day is tomorrow, is my last time here. We don't have the money to come back again and my Dad isn't with us anyway, so it doesn't make a difference. My Dad left for Arizona ahead of us two weeks ago, leaving seven more without him, and already nothing feels like it used to. Of course I realize that two months is hardly anything and that some people don't get the ability to call their relatives, or know that in only two months they'll be able to hug them again, but it's still hard. Every year, my grandparents host what's basically a huge buffet. They make enough food to feed an army and walk away with empty crock pots and zero left-overs. It's a huge waste of effort in my opinion, not only for the fact that it takes a whole week to prepare the food and an entire day to set it all up only to be eaten before midnight, but also because half of the people don't know my grandparents.

They just hear through the grapevine about some amazing food, and my grandmother would never say no to anybody. Each year is the same for me. As soon as the first people begin to show up, I make my plate and bring it inside so I don't have to socialize. It's taken my family a long time to decide this, but we've come to the conclusion that I'm introverted, not shy. I don't like strangers or large groups of people because I always feel like everybody's eyes are on me, which I can't blame them for.I mean, I would stare at the fat girl too. This year's party is different though, well not for me because I don't care, but for almost everybody else. I still brought my food in here, the bedroom that's mine when I stay here, which is unfathomable to my sister, Theodora, or as she prefers, Teddy. "Charlotte, he's famous and he's actually going to be here, at our house!" She exclaimed. I glanced up from the book I was reading while I skillfully ate my food. It's not 'our' house, Teddy.

He's only going to be here because Johnny and Mae come every year. "I said, referring to the elderly couple who lived down the street." This set Teddy off again. "Can you believe that Johnny and Mae are the actual grandparents to Jonathan Moore?" She let out a squeal which I knew from experience was made out of uncontrollable excitement. I rolled my eyes. "Seriously? The Peterson's are still the same adorable old couple who are almost like family to us. Having a movie star grandson does not make them any more, or less, special to me."Honestly, to me, a job was a job. I don't see why being in movies got you special attention that others may deserve more than you. Teddy gave me a bored look while I was talking. "Are you done yet?" She asked. I considered talking more but instead I just nodded.

She jumped off the bed smiling. "Good, because as much as I absolutely love listening to your ethical talking, I have to go get ready. I want to look perfect when Johnathan Moore gets here.""I doubt he'll still be here in four hours."I teased, knowing that Teddy's showers generally lasted up to an hour and longer if she was actually trying to look nice. She spun around smiling."Well, as my fashion mentor Tim Gunn says, I'll "Make it work!" "Good luck with that." I mumbled under my breath once she'd left. Actually, Teddy probably did have a good chance at attracting him. She was 5'7 and stick thin, long dyed brown hair and a tan that made her look native. Unfortunately for her, she wasn't a natural beauty. Without her makeup or expensive clothes, she was just average. I, however, am her opposite. I'm tall and fat, to put it simply. Actually, most people call my body type 'voluptuous'.

My hair is a dusty blonde/brown that can look gray in the right light. Although I don't see it, I've always gotten compliments on my face. My eyes are a green/gray hazel with a medium dark brown ring around the pupil. My nose is neither small nor large and has a very light dusting of very light freckles. My lips are plush, but not pouty, and my cheeks always hold a light blush. I also hardly ever get pimples or blackheads. I often hear "oh, Charlotte, you're so beautiful." But I know that everybody wants to finish that sentence with "if only you'd lose some of that weight." I sighed and turned back to my book. Reading has always been my escape. I think that I read a lot because when I do, I could be anybody but myself. For the next however many pages, I'm not 'Chubby Charlie', a name which will haunt me forever. Almost an hour and a half later, Teddy came flouncing into my room again."How do I look?"She twirled. 'Like everything I wish I could be.' I mentally scream. Instead, I smiled and said "Impeccable as always.

He won't be able to say no." "Good, that's what I was hoping for."She said excitedly."Are you sure you want to stay in here?"She asks. I nod and wish her luck. I go back to reading and soon enough drift asleep. Not long after, I felt a presence above me. I opened my eyes and immediately pulled my covers over my head.'Johnathan Moore is in my bedroom!'I cried in my head. Then I realized that he was just a man and if anybody should be hiding, it should be him; this was MY room. I pulled the covers away from my face to see a perplexed look on his face."What are you doing?"I asked as he bent over me to bring our faces closer together. Instead of answering, he kissed me and it was like nothing I'd ever felt before. His lips were so soft and warm against mine. His hand cupped my cheek and his thumb rubbed softly back and forth. I had always imagined what my first kiss would be like, and it had never been even close to this. When his tongue touched mine, I realized who I was with and what we were doing.

I pushed him off me with as much force as possible. "What are you doing?" I gasped out. He wasn't exactly breathing easily either."I'm sorry, it's just..- I just...- you were..- I was....-"He paused to collect his thoughts."You're beautiful."He said, finally settling on what he wanted to say. I looked at him like he was crazy."I'm fat."I stated. It wasn't a question. He gave me a weird look and pulled down the blanket I was laying under. I tried to stop him but he kept lowering it.I felt my cheeks burn. As I was sleeping, my shirt had ridden up and my bottoms had rolled down, leaving my tummy out for him to see. I tried to cover myself with my arms but he just held them at my sides. He lowered his head down and kissed my exposed skin softly multiple times."What are you doing?"I whispered. I'd never even met the guy and he was kissing my stomach."You're beautiful."He said as he leaned upwards and kissed my lips softly.

I pushed him away and pulled up the blanket as I scooted over. "Stop. I don't even know you." I said, trying to make my voice sound as stern as possible, but I was unconvincing even to myself. He got up on the bed next to me and rested his elbow, looking completely comfortable. "You've seriously never heard of me?" He asked seriously. It should have sounded pompous or arrogant, but it didn't. He sounded honestly curious."Of course I've heard of you. My sister's been talking about you all day."I said, moving back a bit but he just moved closer than he was before. "See?You know me." He said, looking intently into my eyes. "You're Johnathan Moore, but I know nothing else about you." I pointed out. "Well, what else do you want to know about me?" He asked. "I actually never said that I wanted to know anything." I pushed his hand away as he tried to brush his fingers through my hair. He just laughed it off. "Fine then, is there anything you'd like to know about me?" He revised. "What are you doing here?" I asked after a moment. "Well, my grandparents live..-" He started, but I held my hand up to cut him off. "Yeah, I know John and Mae. I'm not retarded." He grinned. "What I meant was what are you doing here, as in my room, in my bed, kissing me and my stomach?"

My voice sounded irritated at the end. "Why do you do that?" He asked. "No, why do you do that?"I counter questioned."Do what?"He asked."Avoid the only question I've asked."I said softly. He sighed."I've been here for like two hours and the entire time, this chick has been hanging on me. I'm pretty sure the only reason I even got away from her was because my best friend distracted her with a clip from my new movie that's coming out. Then I came out of the bathroom, ready to face the Crazy again when I heard this adorable shoring sound."I cut him off."I do not snore!"I exclaimed in disbelief. He laughed heartily."You so do!But it's soft and sweet. At first, I didn't know what it was though, so I opened the door and here you were. You honestly looked like an angel.

Your hair was everywhere and your mouth was opened a little, but you looked so peaceful, like nothing in the world could hurt you. "He looked at me again, and gave an awkward laugh as he scratched behind his ear." So you decided to kiss me? "I asked uncertainly. "Well yeah, I mean, you woke up and looked so surprised, then irritated. You were too cute not to." He admitted with a chuckle. "Look, Johnathan, I'm not some role in a movie. You can't just go around kissing people in real life." I started to tell him but he cut me off. "Stop. You don't need to tell me what happens in 'real life'. Believe me, I know the difference between my movies and what's real. That's why I kissed you. I knew you were real from the second I saw you.""No, you saw a girl who was asleep.

What makes me real are the things you can't see. The way I talk, what I do, who I am. "He smiled a little bit and rubbed my cheek." I know, so give me a chance to prove it to myself and to you. "I blinked a few times before saying" I leave tomorrow. "He looked disappointed for a second before he spoke up again." Then I want to know you tonight. "He leaned forward and kissed me lightly on the lips."But you can't ask me not to kiss you." "You're really weird." I informed him. He grinned and moved even closer to me. "Why do you say that?" "Well you come in here, give me my first kiss, and then tell me I'm beautiful..-" He cut me off. "Wait, what did you just say?" He asked. "That you came in here?" "After that."I already knew what he was getting at."Um, you called me beautiful?" "No.That I gave you your first kiss."He said, knowing I'd avoid it.I cleared my throat. "Well yeah, you did." I turned and stared up at the ceiling so I wouldn't have to look up at him. "Wow." Was the only thing he said. "Yeah, I know, okay?" I said in dismay. "You really don't have to tell me how much of a loser I am. Just leave." I tried to lay on my side away from him but he pulled me back. "Why would I leave? I've never been somebody's first anything before." He smiled and I died inside. "Oh my God! You take some sort of sick pride in being the 'Fat Girls' first kiss?" I asked horrified.

He shut me up by kissing me again. "Knock it off." He said in between little pecks. "From now on, you're no longer allowed to refer to yourself as 'the fat girl'.Understood?" He asked, well actually, demanded. "But that's what I am." I whispered. "All of this," He said, drawing his hand down my body, ending at my thigh. "Is more to love."I laughed and said sarcastically "Mhmm, okay." His kiss silenced me again."I'm so serious right now. "He growled against my lips, tugging his fingers through my hair.I moaned lightly and automatically deepened the kiss by pulling him closer with one hand on his shoulder and the other cupping his neck. I kind of lost all awareness at that point because the next thing I knew, I was laying practically on top of him with one hand rubbing his abs under his shirt, the other in his hair. My left leg was between his. I immediately pulled away, rolling into a sitting position. "I'm so sorry." I gasped, one hand flying to my lips when I felt them tingling. "Why are you sorry?" He asked as I felt him pulling me back to his body. I resisted. "I weigh too much to just go around laying on you like that." I said, trying to pull myself away but he used his muscles I didn't know he had, to pull me back to him. "First of all, minding it was the furthest thing from my mind. I loved it. Secondly, you're definitely not as heavy as you seem to think you are.

"He tried to comfort me. "Right." I said doubtfully, not really willing to go there with him. He went to kiss me again but I pushed him away. "Know what? You don't even know me. You don't' know my name or who I really am and I don't want to do this with somebody who I won't even seen after tomorrow. "I told him, clarity finally coming to me." Don't go. I agree with you, but just let me be close to you. "He begged." Please, I haven't felt this way in a long time. "He paused then spoke quietly. "Please don't go." "What do you feel?" I asked shyly, gulping back the sudden feeling of my heart coming out of my mouth."I can't tell you."He said softly as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. He moved closer until our feet were grouped together and our hands intertwined."I want you to call me Johnny. Johnathan is only for people who know the famous me, but I want you to know the real me. "Looking back, this was the exact moment my heart melted for him. "I'm Charlotte."