Infidelity in Marriage

Trust and companionship are the two wheels on which a relationship runs. Having an extramarital affair or indulging in infidelity as it is known, breaks down the trust among the partners and can ultimately lend a big blow to companionship. There are many problems that a married couple faces these days, what with both the partners trying hard to balance out their personal and professional lives. Still, the kind of damage infidelity can cause is unparalleled. Let us know how to identify and cope with infidelity.

Signs of Infidelity

Before learning the signs of cheating, it's important to know what could be the possible reasons behind infidelity. Well, the most common cause is lack of communication and emotional connect between the two partners. Sexual incompatibility, midlife crisis, low self-esteem or plainly the thrill and excitement of having a new partner are some of the other reasons why people cheat.

Infidelity can be both emotional as well as physical. If someone feels a strong sexual attraction to someone else other than their partner, if he or she feels more comfortable sharing their feelings and thoughts with the other person and if they keep this relationship secret from their partner, then all this constitutes as infidelity. Some of the signs are - the cheating partner giving more time and attention to the new relationship and avoiding his spouse and children. He or she lying to their spouse and making up excuses, such as long working hours or business trips to spend time with the other person. The cheating partner will suddenly start dressing up really well to make themselves more desirable to the other person. He or she will be secretive about his phone calls or text messages or e-mails. If it's a man who is cheating, his expenditure will suddenly shoot up because he will most probably be spending a lot on his new love interest. And the most important sign of cheating, the cheater will acquire new interests and likings in music, movies or even with regards to sexual positions! These changes are all influences of the new person they are in a relationship with.

Overcoming Infidelity

Let me tell you, making a marriage work after infidelity is not easy. The partner who has been cheated and betrayed, needs to get over his hurt and trauma first. Only once they have recovered emotionally that things can move forward.

For a marriage to survive, both partners need to be committed to making it work. The partner who has cheated has to make sure that he cuts off all ties with the person he is having an affair with. The partner who has been cheated upon needs to learn how to forgive and forget. In short, both should focus all their energies into building a happy future together rather than looking back at what had happened in the past.

At this stage, going in for counseling is a good option. A professional and an outsider can give a more rational view on what went wrong with the marriage. A counselor will suggest various changes that both the partners need to make to rebuild and develop their relationship. Following this advice is very important if the partners want to save their marriage.

Lastly, rekindling the romance, passion and love to bring newness and excitement in the relationship, is essential too. So the couple should go on dates, plan surprises for each other, take a weekend off in some faraway place - do all things to make each other feel wanted, special and loved.

If you look at the statistics, they show that one third of marriages in which either of the partners has cheated, will end in divorce. Thus, surviving infidelity is not a piece of cake. However, if both the partners love each other deeply, are able to get over the resentment, can rebuild the trust and connect lost, there are chances that the marriage might work!