Infatuation.???????..Love.??????? Part 16 B

Just like Naina and Rutesh Sujit and Kajal were silent on the way back. But they both knew something was boiling between them and it had to come out. Kajal remembered the day and night spent together. She had lost her virginity to him with her choice and she never regretted it. He had shown her tenderness, care, passion and fire. They had tried so many things with each other, according to her they both were prefect for each other.

Soon the house came in the view, she couldn’t control her sigh. She had spent some beautiful moments in this house. She still remembered the chase, also the game strip ludo they had played. Eventually they both were the winner, the cooking they had shared along with the passion. She never would be able cook in the kitchen without remembering the things they had done in the kitchen. When she saw the porch swing she remembered the nap they had taken together in the swing. And when she woke up it she had felt something poking from behind, well the rest was understood.

Now they had reached, the discussion was inevitable. So she only started, "Look Sujit I know I should have told Naina. But it happened so fast that I didn’t have time to tell anyone"

Sujit didn’t say anything. He didn’t trust himself to speak, she had not told anyone about him. He had been her dirty secret which she had not told even her cousin. She had been playing with him, and that hurt. It hurt too damn much, after spending time together he had been hoping their affair would last. He knew that anything permanent was impossible to imagine as he was divorce and a great deal elder to her. He had been a reckless choice of hers, which every girl wants once in her life. He knew she might get bored of him, so he had cherished his time with her.

He didn’t answer her immediately, he waited and just looked at her. "I met you on the first day of your job, and you spent the night with me in the same week. This is the second weekend we are spending together. And you want me to believe that you didn’t have time. Why don’t you tell me the truth that I was a diversion for you. You didn’t want anyone to know that you were having a fling with me. A guy lot older than you who is also a divorcee. Right"

There was silence, absolute silence then he heard the small breaths, he turned to look at Kajal.

When he saw kajal there were tears in her eyes, but she looked angry too angry. She started coming toward him, "You idiot, you bastard. How can you say that to me? You make it sound as if it was planned. Damn it! It wasn’t planned, it just happened and I wanted to sort it out first and then share it with Naina. And what was that crap about diversion, age and divorcee. I LOVE YOU! You fool. How can it matter to me if you are divorced or elder to me. You are not a diversion, you are the path I have taken. Couldn’t you see the way I respond to you, or to your touch. Did it say fling to you, if I wanted a fling I would have had it long back. And if we are talking about secrets, how many people have you told about me? If you thought I was having a fling with you, what am I to you?"

Kajal was crying and moving while saying all this, now Sujit regretted the way he had told her. She meant something to him, he cared for her. But now when she said that she loved him, he could only see panic. Maybe he was happy somehow as she loved him, but they had no future. When he went after her it was because of their chemistry. But he could not ignore the caring which was there before. And her words were true, he had not told anyone about them but he had reasons. So had she his inner voice countered.

Sujit raked his hand through his hair, Kajal was now standing looking at the window. It was dark but he knew she wasn’t looking anywhere. She was still crying in hiccups, he just wanted forget meeting Naina and embrace her. He walked towards her, he could not touch her now. She said she was in love with him, she will expect after a point marriage which he could not give her. He was not ready for marriage the second time, he also knew the blame was on him for seducing her. As from the start he had pushed her and he was her first lover, a girl would remember that with some significance. Well damn it, that was significant to him also.

"Look Kajal" He stopped as Kajal turned, his heart turned at her sight. She was still crying and her eyes were all red, with her breath coming in short gaps.

"The things you told me are your excuses. You got scared as now if Naina knows, they might tell people and you might have to tell them what we have. I loved you from the first time you helped when you were married. Yes I was disappointed but it didn’t stop me from loving you. And no I didn’t initiate that kiss purposely it just happened. So I left." Kajal took a long breath and continued

"Left to let you live in peace. You knew my daddy’s accident had broken us. So they had decided go to Baroda. I agreed as I could not bear to see you any longer and suffer. After I came back to Mumbai, I never expected to meet you. Whatever happened it just did.

Sujit went toward her, "Kajal calm down"

"Don’t bother to treat me now as a child, when you have already treated me as a woman" Her words slashed him but he knew she was right.

Kajal could not feel the hurt yet, it was just numb in her heart. But she knew she had hurt him, she could see it in her eyes. She had never decided to tell him this soon, she had known him to panic and to make excuses. But now that was done and she knew what he thought of her.

"No need to bother Sujit. I got what I was after, so did you. I made a fool of myself in believing that something else was possible. But heart is blind right can’t see for whom it is falling or bleeding" She retreated when Sujit tried to touch her.

"Don’t cry Kajal. You are young, and you will find someone of your age" Sujit could not finish as Kajal raised her hand to stop him.

"Don’t bother, you are damn right I will find someone who will love me, care for me, and also make love to me. And I will give him everything that I have except my heart. I made that mistake once won’t do it second time. I guess our fling and the discussion is over so let’s go."

Kajal turned and went to the bedroom, Sujit stood there and watched her go. He knew she was hurting and also leaving him. So now there would be no Kajal any more, that was good better than letting her think there could be something between them.

Then why was he feeling empty and wanted to cry.