In the Eyes of Jade (9)

- Jade -

- Sunday -

"It's going to be okay, Jade," Colby tries to calm my pacing.

"No, it's been a week since I've recruited them, what if they've changed their minds and don't come on Tuesday." I fuss. Colby pulls back the bed sheets and collapses.

"Don't worry they will commit," he reaches into a drawer of his night stand pulling out a cigarette and lighter. Raising it to his mouth, he flicks the nob, letting the flame heat the end of the paper.

"Are you kidding me?" I cross my arms. He looks up pulling the cigarette out of his mouth,

"What?" Smoke escaping from his lips.

"When did you start smoking?" I ask in disbelief.

"I don't know." He shrugs taking another.

"Don't play that card with me."

"I guess when things started getting stressful after our fight." He says nonchalantly. I quickly snatch the box from the drawer, the lit one in his mouth and the lighter, stomping to the bathroom, him on my heals. "What are you doing, Jade." I threw the items in the toilet, flushing them down. "What was that for?!"


"Smoking is unattractive and I will not have my husband die of lung cancer." I yell at him.

"Calm down Jade, you know I'll just get more tomorrow." He says.

"Are you serious right now?"

"What's your deal?"

"What's yours?! I feel like we are a mile apart even when you're holding me. When I try talking to you, you just mumble answers like you don't care. Now you've started smoking?! What's changed, Colby." I lightly grip his blue button up shirt.

"I don't know." He mumbles and I slowly push him away. I grab my coat and shoes running downstairs. I quickly open the door and slam it shut. I find myself on our covered porch facing the rain.

I decide I wanted to run, anywhere but not here. So I do. I run, block after block in the night storm. The raindrops were cold against my flaming flesh. My legs don't wear out for a while. I don't notice nor care where they are taking me. I wanted to get away from the world I've known for far too long. I wanted to forget the way Colby treated me and remember all the sweet and lovely things in the world. The beach on a hot summer day, a flower after the first rains of spring, the laugh of an innocent child, kittens who sleep in the rays of sun that stream through windows, a gentle hand covering yours when you know you're going to cry. I craved all these things at once, knowing they couldn't be mine.

I must have been running for at least a half an hour before my body broke down near a children's park. Falling and scraping my hands and knees, possibly creating purple bruises, I knew fresh blood was sprouting from the wounds. I spread myself out on the marry-go-round as the wind lightly pushed it round and round. I let my cheek press against the freezing metal and watched as my breath became a white cotton puff in the air before floating upward towards the sky. Streaks of light flashed across the sky and loud BOOMS followed. I just let the nature's lullaby calm me.

"Jade!" I hear a voice calling me through the natural noises. "Jade! Where are you!" I saw a flashlight stream across where I had made my new home and shook as the figure ran to me. I quickly closed my eyes in exhaustion "Jade." I hear the figure say my name. They picked me up and carried me home, but I'd lost track of how long it took to get there.

Pushing the door open, I was brought upstairs and set down on the bed. The figure walked away and moments later I heard the bathtub running. Sighing I turned and finally looked the hero in the eyes. Colby leaned against the tub, waiting for it to fill, just watching me. When it was ready he helped me to the bathroom but left me in privacy to change and bathe. Once I was done, I slipped on his sweat pants he gave me what felt like so long ago.

Leaving the bathroom, he already had the first aid kit out. He motioned me over and I sat on the bed, revealing my stinging wounds. He concentrated on the injuries placing ointment and a bandaid on each. Once packed up and put away he tucked me in bed without a word said. He held me close that night and I didn't resist.

- Monday -

I woke up with a horrible coughing fit. Colby rushed upstairs to feed me green tea, soothing my throat. Once done I fell down into the pillows and blankets again. He slipped a thermometer into my mouth before I turned to check the time.

"Ten in the morning!" I mumble through the thermometer. "What are you still doing here, you have work."

"Well I woke up and went to kiss you goodbye, when your forehead felt warm so I called in sick, so I could stay here with you." He tells me pulling out the temperature reader. "It's raising." He observes.

"You didn't have to do that, I can take care of myself, Colby." I tell him.

"I know, but... truth is, I was horrible too you Jade." He sits down on the bed next to me and I sit up to look at him. "The last few days I just haven't been myself because I feel like you deserve better. Jade, you're strong and independent. You know what you want and you go for it. Even when we were in school..." His head slowly fell as he looked down at the carpet.

"What do you mean, even when we were in school?" I ask curiously.

"I know what you thought of me in grade school... I'm not dumb," he looks out the window. "You looked at me like I was the scum of the earth, nothing more than dirt. But, you had a reason too. I was mean to you, but only cause I was jealous. People molded me into someone I was not. I just remember how jealous I was that you knew exactly who you were and that no one could change that." He laughs to himself, "I used to stare at you during lunch periods when you and your friend, Bethany, would sit all alone at a table in the corner. You would always bring this little blue lunch box with a bunch of purple flowers on it. You would carefully unwrap your sandwich, making sure not make a mess out of the wrapping. Then at recesses you would sit on the bench and be hunched over sketching a drawing. I was always wondering what you were drawing, sometimes when we lined up to go inside, I'd try and peak over your shoulder, but it never worked." He pulls himself out of the memories and slips his hand into mine, "You were always so different, unique, authentic... Instead of fitting everyone else's molds, you were making your own. Over time I grew secretly fond of you."


"But you were always the player," I question remembering all the girls I would see him with. Girls would flock to his side the second he entered the school. He would greet them all without hesitation.

"No, those were my friends. I never looked at a girl the way I looked at you. When our wedding day came a month ago.... I couldn't believe that you would be my wife. I promised to myself right then and there that I was going to try to be the best husband I could for you..."

"That's why you were so nice to me?" I put two and two together. His hand reached out and stroked my cheek.

"So the other day when I almost hit you... I realized how much I didn't deserve you. It's only been a month and I've screwed it all up," He hides his shame-filled face in his hands.

"No, you haven't... Listen to me, Colby." I retrieve his hands in mine. "You may not think you're special, but you are. You're special to me. You may not see it but you have a strong personality and it's pretty obvious I do too... that's why we fight so much. We fight because both of us just have very firm personalities. But, that's okay, it's normal to fight as a couple." I shrug. Leaning into me he hugs me.

The rest of the day was filled with chicken noodle soup (made by Colby), wet wash-cloths, and movies to entertain me. He sat next to me the whole time not leaving my side. I knew from now on things would be different. We were real with each other now, we knew each other's secrets and didn't have anything to hide anymore.