I'm Nothing Without You Chap 24

‘Miss Vienna you are scrubbing in with me today?’ I asked. Vienna was an operating room nurse and had remarkable skills.

‘No Dr. Killian. I’m with Dr. B-Boswell.’ She said referring to the new neurologist.

‘Oh… I heard he insisted you to scrub in for him.’ I said teasingly at her.

She winced. ‘You heard it right. We have an elective craniotomy this 9. Miss Krizia is assigned in your theater.’

I frowned at her. I didn’t know who was that Krizia she was talking to and I’m very particular with my scrub nurse each time I started an operation.

‘She’s a Red Cross representative. You know… the one who helped us obtain fresh pack red blood cells-’

‘Oh yeah I remember.’

She smiled at me. ‘Don’t worry Dr. T Miss Krizia’s skills were terrific.’ She said. ‘She had scrubbed in for Dr. Killhorn and Dr. Leary.’

‘Okay Vienna I trust you with this matter.’ I said. I check my watch. ‘I think I’ll take a rest for a while. I’ll be at the quarters so if you need me, just beep me okay?’

‘Yes Dr. T.’

Not long enough I reached the surgeon’s quarter. I lazily say on a chair that was facing the door and stared blankly ahead. It was three weeks since the abduction happened. It was three weeks since I dumped Klive. For a moment I thought he’ll appear unannounced to me and demanded an explanation but he didn’t and for a moment I thought he’ll not giving up on me, I guess I thought wrong. I guess I’m making the right decision.

That day after I literary ran away from Klive, I bumped in with Ethan. He was with the federal officers and Klive’s bodyguard. He didn’t saw me in the crime scene so he decided to look for me. Ethan found me sitting on the streets, crying my heart out. He tried to comfort me and instead of asking me the reason I’m crying, he explained to me how he found us. The ring he gave me was the same replica as to my family’s ring. He installed a tracking device and a recorder inside. The moment I pressed the button instantly the conversation was recorded. We used it as evidence against Bradley and Lawrence. Klive somehow managed to alert his bodyguard. With Ethan’s cooperation in giving our location they all saved our lives.

I’m sure glad my best friend is a gadget addict! If it wasn’t for Ethan, I’ll be Lawrence’s wife for sure Klive will lose his company and-

‘You’re staring…’ Ethan said. He was standing in front of me. All of the sudden he leaned forward and studied me face. ‘Are you okay?’ There was a hint of concern in his eyes and voice.

I blinked. ‘Yeah…sure... I’m good.’

He sighed, shook his head and kissed my cheek. ‘You’re getting worse everyday.’ He said and seated next to me.

I snorted but didn’t voice any comment.

We were both quiet for awhile. I resumed staring at the wall while Ethan was staring at me, he was studying me or something and he kept on sighing. I found it irritating. ‘What’s wrong?’ I asked lamely.

‘Know what; just give the poor guy a chance.’ He said. ‘He loves you so much.’

I frown and looked at his direction. ‘What are you talking about?’

He rolled his eyes. ‘If you keep on acting this way, you might lose him.’

‘Ethan…’ I said in a tone that clearly threatened him not to dare say another word about it.

‘Ticiatriz…’ he said imitating my tone then chuckle on my reaction. ‘A person wouldn’t spend his time doing little things for someone if it doesn’t mean anything.’ He said meaningfully.

‘Now what’s that suppose to mean?’

‘Work it out yourself!’ he said. ‘I’m going. Have to do my rounds.’

‘Hey- wait! Ethan?! Hey!’ I was trying to stop him from leaving. He slammed the door on my face. I winced. ‘What’s wrong with that guy-’ I heard a loud ‘bang’ from one of our lockers. I looked at it. I was my purse, it fell from my locker. My things were scattered on the floor. I sighed and stood up and tried to tidy my things. I reached for my wallet under the table but a white folded paper caught my attention. I picked my wallet and the paper and sit on the chair I evacuated. I frowned and open it. It was a letter for me from… GARETH! Now I remember! Mrs. Evans gave it to me before Klive and I were ambushed. She said Gareth wanted me to have this.

T… baby… I love you so much. I guess by the time you read this letter, I’m already dead. Feels weird huh?! I prepared this letter to explain to you everything. T someone’s after your company and they mean business, they want your life! After we started dating I’d noticed people directly involved in your company were greedy for wealth and fame the Killian Group of Companies would give them. So I promised myself to protect you from them. I’ll do it for your sake baby and if something happened to me, please baby don’t blame your self for it. I’ve done it because I love you so much!

Dr. Ticiatriz Killian! Stop crying! I know you too well…

I smiled and wiped my tears. ‘I miss you so much Gareth!’ I said looking at his handwriting. ‘I wish you’re still by my side. I wish I could see you, I wish I could feel your hands intertwine with mine, your arms around my waist and I wish I could still hear your voice saying you love me…’ I whispered. I continue reading.

Actually baby there’s more. I didn’t have the guts to tell you this the day we started dating. I’m sick T… for the past five years I was having a fight with colon cancer. I didn’t tell you because knowing you; you’ll panic and insisted on having chemotherapy. Before I met you, I’d decided not to fight it anymore. I was so damn tired to undergo another therapy and besides I already accepted my disease. But you came and all of a sudden I had a positive outlook towards my life. You brought me happiness and love.

Ticiatriz thank you so much. Thank you for coming into my life, thank you for making my remaining days happy and I’m glad I spent it with you. I love you ssssoooo much Ticiatriz.

I broke into my sobs. I couldn’t believe Gareth had cancer! I just sat there staring blankly while images of Gareth and me were flashing through my mind, images of our sweet nothings. My tears keep on falling from my eyes. Suddenly the image of Gareth holding his camera was slowly fading on my mind. ‘He had cancer…’ I said to myself.

I stood up, took my key and phone and then I marched towards the door. On my way to the car park I bumped in with Janice. I didn’t stop to say ‘hi’, I just keep on walking towards my car. I was able to control my emotions though.

‘Ticiatriz where are you going?!’ asked Janice.

I didn’t bother to answer her. I get in my car and started the engine.

Later I found myself crying in front of Gareth’s tombstone. It was like the scene a year ago after his burial. ‘Why didn’t you tell me Gareth? I have a least the right to know about your illness.’ I felt my knees tremble so knelt on the ground.

‘Because he didn’t want to hurt you and he didn’t want you to be bothered with his illness.’ Mrs. Evan said from my back. ‘My son loved you that much Ticiatriz.’

‘M-Mrs. Evans…’ I tried to control my composure. I stood up. ‘I’m sorry…’ I said barely audible. Now I know her reasons for despising me that much. Finally I understand her. She was a mother trying to protect her son from the inevitable, a mother who loved her son so much.

She shook her head. ‘I’m the one-’

‘No. I thought you just don’t like me that time.’ I said. ‘I thought you’re the bad one, trying to destroy our relationship or something. But it was me. I was the bad person.’ My tears were kept on falling in my eyes. ‘I’m sorry Mrs. Evan… I’m sorry for stealing your son. You should be the one by his side the moment he died. If he didn’t met me, you can spent more time with-’

‘If you two didn’t meet, Gareth wouldn’t be happy.’ She said. ‘He was smiling… for the past five years he hadn’t smiled. Thank you so much Ticiatriz, I though I’ll never see his smile again. Thank you so much for making Gareth happy.’ She hugged me. ‘I’m so sorry for the pain I caused you.’ She pulled back. ‘It just that, I’m a mother Ticiatriz…’ she started crying. ‘I’m a mother and my son was dying… he should be in my arms… not in somebody-’

I hugged her. ‘I know… I know…’ I said as I tried to comfort her.

Later we both found ourselves staring at Gareth’s tombstone. We were both quiet. We were listening to our surrounding. ‘I’ll go ahead.’ Mrs. Evans told me after awhile. ‘You’re going to stay here for a moment?’

I wiped my tears and nods at her.

She turned her back on me and started walking.

‘Mrs. Evans?’ I said. She faced me. ‘I’ll never, ever forget Gareth. He will be forever in my heart.’

She broke into tears. ‘Thank you dear… thank you so much…’ she said and then she walked away.

I stared at her. I took Gareth’s letter from my pocket. I wanted to continue reading it.

Ticiatriz… you know that I love you so much… I love you… I love you… I love you…

I smiled reading his first sentence.

If I weren’t sick, I would love to spend my whole life with you. Getting old together and stuff, but I guess I would be just a dream, a dream we both can’t fulfill.

Endless tears were flowing from my eyes. Gareth was right. It will be just a dream.

Ticiatriz, if you found a man you love you as much as I do, then I gave him my blessing. Baby be kind to yourself, I want you to be happy, moved on from your lost and love again. Baby I’m sorry but I’m not your destiny. I came to your life, just to teach you how to love and prepare you for the one you’ll love most. If I’m to decide I want to be the right guy for you but obviously I’m not and the right guy for you is coming. Please don’t close your heart…’

My hands were trembling and so as lips. Was Gareth referring to Klive? What will I do? I keep on walking back and forth thinking for a solution to my problem. After an hour, finally I came up with a plan. It’s time for me to move on. I took my phone from my pocket and dialed.

‘Ethan I need your help…’