I'm Not From Philly, Silly

This is really going to piss off a certain section of the American public, but please don’t shoot the messenger. I am merely a hack, reporting the news.

A survey of visitors and residents, conducted by travel & Leisure magazine and CNN Headline News, discovered that Philadelphia is home to the least attractive people in the United States. To add insult to injury, the survey also found that Philadelphians are among the least active, least friendly and least worldly of Americans. Least worldly, huh? Like I said, I’m just reporting the news. The 60,000 people who responded to the survey, ranked 25 cities in categories, including shopping, food, culture and cityscape. If it can be called a consolation, Philly beat out Washington DC and Dallas/Fort Worth for bottom spot. Top of the heap was Miami and San Diego. Once again, huh? And to rub salt in their wounds, Philadelphians were reminded that their teams, in any of the four main sports, had not won a national championship since the 76ers won the NBA title way back in 1983.

Let me hasten to add that I do not subscribe to the above opinions in the least. The city of the Liberty Bell and Philly steaks the least attractive? That’s downright sacrilege.