If Only....

it might not come out as much of a poem it's really just my thoughts. Soo here goes........

I always ask myself
Why?
Why aren't we together?
But I've always known the answer

If only I was white like you
If only we went to the same school
If only I didn't have so much trouble trusting you
If only you hadn't broken that trust before
If only I was beautiful
If only we had a future

But I'm not white
I'm black, no not even I'm mixed
But I don't go to your school
I go to the one across town
But I just can't trust you
I try but I still feel like you're going to vanish every time I turn around
But you did break my trust
You tore me apart and I'm healing even now
But I'm not beautiful
I envy those glamorous stick figures in the magazines
But we don't have a future
We only have a past

My perfect world only exist in my fantasies
I can never make it a reality
And with a pain in heart I know this is true
And even though I've admitted all of this to myself
I still attempt to deny one fact
I love you
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I just wrote it as I went along so I hope it's okay.
Please comment and tell me what you thought.
I know I was really specific in this one unlike my others, but I kinda like that.