If It Was Supposed To Feel Good.....

~~~ A completely true story that I need to get out there. Just writing this makes me feel better~~~

It was torture! Pure torture! Sitting next to him in first and seventh period every day. It all started when my science class got switched. I walked into the new class mid-year with my loyal but perverted friend Andrew standing next to me. Of course the only extra seats were at the front of the class. As I surveyed the rest of the students one in particular caught my eye. Who was this you may ask? I later found out that his name was Joshua or Josh and like me he had a twin. Of course, being the ditz I am, didn’t find this out till much later. You see his brother Steven had second period science whereas we had first. So after a couple weeks of taking this class I noticed someone who looked suspiciously like my newfound crush pass me by. Now the confusing part to me was that I swear I saw Josh turn to the right and go to language. One day this suspicious looking person stopped to talk to Josh. I got a really good look at them and gasped. They were almost mirror images of each other. Being the overly busy person I am I didn’t put two and two together until seventh period the class he sat next to me in. Lucky for me when this clicked the teacher was out of the room and a group of us were reviewing for an upcoming test. "Oh my god! I am an idiot!" I exclaimed to no one in particular. "Well if you want to put it that way." Jason said surprised at the chance to smart off. "Look whose talking mister I’ve known you since kindergarten and you’re not much different!" I fired back," and anyways that’s not what I mean (addressing josh) "you have a twin don’t you?" I questioned sure of myself. "We’ll look who’s finally catching on!" he exclaimed quite amused. "God you can be such a dunce." Carolina exclaimed. "Well I bet you didn’t know that I also have a twin sister!" I said hoping to catch him off guard. "In fact I do know i also know her name is Rebecca and she’s tall and blonde unlike you." He said smugly. "So what if I’m a ditz that’s why you gotta love me!" I exclaimed thinking quick on my feet. "All right class, get back to work!" Mrs. Kaiser said ending our conversation. Thought the year we got to know each other better. He started calling me by my name and even knew that I only chew Stride and Orbit. He was sad for me when my cat died and happy when I found out that I get to go to Atlanta for cheerleading. I guess you could say we became friends. But the problem was I wanted to be more than friends. Pretty soon my best friend noticed me acting different and asked me what was up. Being the horrible lair I am I told her. And being the wonderful friend she is was happy and supportive. By the end of the year all my closest friends and family knew. Of course being the people they are none of them leaked a word. At the end of the year my friends (one in certain) were persistent that I should admit my feelings to him. Of course I said no. On the second to last day of school last day I had a class with josh) Sara came up with a not so brilliant idea. Jason, coincidentally, was in our second to last class of the day. She decided to tell him to tell josh that I liked him. You see Jason is a person who doesn’t keep secrets well or for that matter follow instructions well. (Maybe that’s why he always gets sent into the hall... hmmm?) In seventh period (also our exam for the day) Jason caught me glancing over at josh. Of course he automatically remembered what Sara had told him and set to work. Obviously he forgot the part about and I quote "don’t tell him until after the bell rings, okay?"(Sara) "Okay fine not till the bell rings."(Jason) Of course this happened right after the bell to start class rang. I quickly turned away hoping for the best. I could hear him whispering, nodding, looking, and pointing. My heart was pounding I was so scared, nervous, and excited. I breathed deeply and waited. "Psssstt!!" it was Jason. "What?" I said innocently. He smiled then pointed to me made a heat the pointed a heart then pointed to josh. I actually think he thought he had done something good. The look on his face was triumph. I wanted to slap it right off and yell" What the **** was that you were supposed to tell him after the bell rang at the END of class after I was gone!!!!!" Getting my cool I replied "Phshaw you wish!" They both looked shocked at my response. "Well he said you weren’t his type!" he replied smugly. "You actually thought I like him, brain check he’s just my friend!" I smirked. Turning around in my seat I started my test, very distracted. Later that day at the yearbook signing party I told Sara what happened. She was pissed off, just not as much as me. I had really been looking forward to getting his signature in my yearbook but now I just didn’t have the heart to do it. "Here because your heartbreak is partially my fault ill get him to sign it." She said taking my yearbook. I didn’t look at what he wrote until I got home. To my surprise all it was R.O.L Joshua Farmer. Not quit what I was expecting. What he meant by that I’m still not quite sure but I treasure every word. I guess that’s why they say you live and learn.

~~~ Joshua Farmer if you ever read this I just wanted to say thank you. You helped me realize that no matter what friends will always be there and overall boys will be boys. So for all the people with broken hearts its okay you’ll get through it. ~~~