If I Didn't Care
A singer from a bar is in love with a man that comes every Friday night. And all she could do is to sing to him to tell him how she really feels. (A story inspired by a song of the same title.)
She could hear the piano play the first few chords of her song. She gradually composed herself by taking a deep breath and pasting a fake smile on her face.
And then she walked out of the dressing room with her golden dress swishing at every step.
She smiled widely when she heard the faint applause upon her arrival.
She walked towards the middle of the dimly lit stage where the lone microphone stood.
She felt his presence even before she began her song.
He stood like a shadow in the dark corner away from the glimmering lights.
He lifted a glass of red wine and sipped from it as he stared at her knowingly.
It was just one of those nights, she told herself.
She momentarily observed him as a tall and dark-haired woman suddenly rested her arm in his shoulder. The woman was laughing silently after listening to some remark he said.
She looked down and tried to calm herself before she started the first verse.
The first notes floated in the air in a haunting melody.
"If I didn’t care
More than words can say
If I didn’t care, would I feel this way?
If I didn’t care, then why do I thrill?
And what makes my head go round and round
While my heart stands still…"
She knew it was only through her songs that she could tell him how she felt.
Every Friday night he would visit this particular bar and have a drink or two, always listening intently to every song.
He stared at her as she sung her piece.
As she glanced into his eyes, it was as if she were singing it to him.
"If I didn’t care, would it be the same?
Would my every prayer begin and end with just your name?
And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?
Would all this be true if I didn’t care for you?"
She could feel the tears forming in her eyes, blinding her until all she could see were the blurring lights of the spotlight.
She recalled the times when he would be the one singing to her. The days when he wanted nothing more but to be with her. The days when she was sure he cared for her.
Yet, those days were gone now, she reminded herself.
He was a different man now. He didn’t want her anymore.
She could still remember the last thing she had said to him.
It was one of the few things in her life she regretted the most.
Five years ago, he had wanted them to be together. They were so young but he was so sure that they would be together all their lives. He wanted to marry her.
Being young, she was unsure of herself and led him to believe everything they went through was nothing to her.
And all she wanted in the world was to tell him how she really felt. And this was the only way.
And so, she finished her song before bursting into tears. The people in the room stood up in applause as she bowed her gratitude.
She walked down the stage and carefully glanced at where he was standing. He was gone.
One more day wasted. One more day without him.
She went back to her dressing room, feeling as if nothing was accomplished.
She took a seat amidst the dozens of flowers carefully placed next to the large mirror.
"Is it true?" a voice asked from behind her.
She looked at her reflection in the mirror and saw him standing behind her.
"What do you mean?" She asked him, her eyes welling up in tears.
"The song, is it true? Is it for me?" he asked, with a small smile on his face.
She stared at him as she answered, "Yes."
"And that’s all? That’s all you’re going to say to me?" He asked, with a grin on his face, placing his hands on her shoulders.
She took a deep breath as she said the next words, "No, that’s not all. I love you. I’ve loved you since before." She finally admitted.
"Good…" he said with a smile. "Coz I still love you."
"Really?" She asked, a hopeful smile finally brightening her face. "You still love me after all these years?"
"Of course, I love you. Why do you think I’ve been coming here every week just to hear you sing?" He said with a grin on his face.
"I’ve waited for you all these years, do you know that? And now, I finally have you." He said as he kissed her.
The soft music playing outside told them she was almost due to sing again, but she could hardly hear it as she closed her eyes in his arms.
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And then she walked out of the dressing room with her golden dress swishing at every step.
She smiled widely when she heard the faint applause upon her arrival.
She walked towards the middle of the dimly lit stage where the lone microphone stood.
She felt his presence even before she began her song.
He stood like a shadow in the dark corner away from the glimmering lights.
He lifted a glass of red wine and sipped from it as he stared at her knowingly.
It was just one of those nights, she told herself.
She momentarily observed him as a tall and dark-haired woman suddenly rested her arm in his shoulder. The woman was laughing silently after listening to some remark he said.
She looked down and tried to calm herself before she started the first verse.
The first notes floated in the air in a haunting melody.
"If I didn’t care
More than words can say
If I didn’t care, would I feel this way?
If I didn’t care, then why do I thrill?
And what makes my head go round and round
While my heart stands still…"
She knew it was only through her songs that she could tell him how she felt.
Every Friday night he would visit this particular bar and have a drink or two, always listening intently to every song.
He stared at her as she sung her piece.
As she glanced into his eyes, it was as if she were singing it to him.
"If I didn’t care, would it be the same?
Would my every prayer begin and end with just your name?
And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?
Would all this be true if I didn’t care for you?"
She could feel the tears forming in her eyes, blinding her until all she could see were the blurring lights of the spotlight.
She recalled the times when he would be the one singing to her. The days when he wanted nothing more but to be with her. The days when she was sure he cared for her.
Yet, those days were gone now, she reminded herself.
He was a different man now. He didn’t want her anymore.
She could still remember the last thing she had said to him.
It was one of the few things in her life she regretted the most.
Five years ago, he had wanted them to be together. They were so young but he was so sure that they would be together all their lives. He wanted to marry her.
Being young, she was unsure of herself and led him to believe everything they went through was nothing to her.
And all she wanted in the world was to tell him how she really felt. And this was the only way.
And so, she finished her song before bursting into tears. The people in the room stood up in applause as she bowed her gratitude.
She walked down the stage and carefully glanced at where he was standing. He was gone.
One more day wasted. One more day without him.
She went back to her dressing room, feeling as if nothing was accomplished.
She took a seat amidst the dozens of flowers carefully placed next to the large mirror.
"Is it true?" a voice asked from behind her.
She looked at her reflection in the mirror and saw him standing behind her.
"What do you mean?" She asked him, her eyes welling up in tears.
"The song, is it true? Is it for me?" he asked, with a small smile on his face.
She stared at him as she answered, "Yes."
"And that’s all? That’s all you’re going to say to me?" He asked, with a grin on his face, placing his hands on her shoulders.
She took a deep breath as she said the next words, "No, that’s not all. I love you. I’ve loved you since before." She finally admitted.
"Good…" he said with a smile. "Coz I still love you."
"Really?" She asked, a hopeful smile finally brightening her face. "You still love me after all these years?"
"Of course, I love you. Why do you think I’ve been coming here every week just to hear you sing?" He said with a grin on his face.
"I’ve waited for you all these years, do you know that? And now, I finally have you." He said as he kissed her.
The soft music playing outside told them she was almost due to sing again, but she could hardly hear it as she closed her eyes in his arms.
______________________________________________________
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