Ian, and My Cold Death

I've turned off all the lights.
I've closed every door.
I've moved all the boxes,
And the furniture.

I drive down the road
On a cold rainy night,
Looking for a place to stay
While I get everything right

I passed up the truck,
Twenty miles ago
And the sleep is eating me alive

But I keep holding on,
As the day grows long.
I know you don't love me,
But that thought is wrong.

Soon enough though,
I drive off a cliff.
Waiting for death,
But it never hits.

I can still see you
I can still smell you
I can still hear those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days of Summer

You touch my hand,
I look astray.
'This isn't permanent so just go away'
Beg as I please,
You never left my side,
But you still weren't mine.

I found that out,
On Christmas night.
When your girlfriend said,
'Ian, we'll miss our fight.'
Once again gone,
I sighed in delight,
Time for me to go,
Cause It just doesn't seem right
Ian.

The Ian in this story is a bit different than the Ian I know. The real Ian didn't cheat on me, he didn't hurt me, and I can't drive of a cliff because I can't drive yet. Ian in the story is a imagination, when I was not happy with my life, and he hurt me.