I Love You Mom!

'When it comes to life, the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude'. ~ Gilbert Keith Chesterton

'Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted'. ~ Aldous Huxley

Unfortunately, the two quotes above are unnervingly true. Human tendency is like that, we take many things for granted that we should not. We have begun to expect certain things, which when not done causes us to experience a variety of emotions, ranging from profound grief and depression to bristling anger. But if you stop to think about it, we are feeding our own emotions with what we want. 'Wallowing in self pity' is another perfectly coined phrase. Our expectations, and the things we have taken for granted brings us to this state, a state which can easily be avoided.

As usual, I am rambling off the topic here. Not entirely, but definitely going the wrong way. What I wanted to talk about is one of the many things we have taken for granted, maybe perhaps even the most important one. 'The Love of A Mother.' How many times have we really stopped to think about what she has sacrificed for us. How many time have we really thought about her needs and what keeps her happy? After all, she is just another human being too, like you and me. How many of us really understand what all she has done for us? How many of us have taken the time to tell her that we appreciate her, and we love her?

I was browsing the net as usual, and recently came across a few really powerful stories about the love of a mother, which gave me pause. Realizing that the date was close to Mother's Day only increased the feeling of guilt in me. Reflecting on the past, I noticed that Mother's Day, her birthday, and maybe her anniversary, were the only occasions where mother got a gift she really wanted. The rest of the year was spent in her gifting us everything we wanted, right from breakfast in the morning, to her shoulder when we were ill or depressed. Of all the stories I read, there was a very powerful one really moved me, just because it was so true. The details do not matter, but in my heart I can be fairly sure that this happened to almost every one out there.

Here is the story. Unfortunately, I am not sure who has written this originally, and I take no credit for writing the same. It is just something I found on the net that struck a chord in me, and I thought if it goes out there often enough, maybe more people will see it and realize and act on it.

Eight Lies of A Mother
The story began when I was a child; I was a son of a poor family in Africa. We did not even have enough food. Whenever meal times came, mother would often give me her portion of rice. While she was removing her rice into my bowl, she would say "Eat this rice, son. I'm not hungry".

That was Mother's First Lie.

When I was growing up, my persevering mother gave her spare time to go fishing in a river near our house, she hoped that from the fish she caught, she could give me a little bit of nutritious food for my growth. After fishing, she would cook some fresh fish soup, which raised my appetite. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat the rest of the fish, which was still on the bone of the fish I had eaten. My heart was touched when I saw that. I then used my chopstick and gave the other fish to her. But she immediately refused and said "Eat this fish, son. I don't really like fish."

That was Mother's Second Lie.

Then, when I was in Junior High School......to fund my studies, mother went to an economic enterprise to bring some used-match boxes that would need to be stuck together. It gave her some money to cover our needs. As the winter came, I woke up from my sleep and looked at my mother who was still awake, supported by a little candlelight and with perseverance she would continue the work of sticking some used-match boxes. I said, "Mother, go to sleep, it's late, tomorrow morning you still have to go to work." Mother smiled and said "Go to sleep, dear. I'm not tired."

That was Mother's Third Lie.

The final term arrived.......mother asked for leave from work in order to accompany me. While the sun was starting to shine strongly, my persevering mother waited for me under the heat for several hours. As the bell rang, which indicated that the final exam had finished, mother immediately welcomed me and poured me a cup of tea that she had brought in a flask. Seeing my mother covered with perspiration, I at once gave her my cup and asked her to drink too. Mother said "Drink, son. I'm not thirsty!" 

That was Mother's Fourth Lie.

After the death of my father due to illness, my poor mother had to play her role as a single parent. She had to fund our needs alone. Our family's life was more complicated. No days without suffering. Our family's condition was getting worse, a kind uncle who lived near our house assisted now and then. Our neighbors, often advised my mother to marry again. But mother was stubborn and didn't take their advice; she said "I don't need love."

That was Mother's Fifth Lie.

After I had finished my studies and got a job, it was the time for my old mother to retire. But she didn't want to; she would go to the marketplace every morning, just to sell some vegetables to fulfill her needs. I, who worked in another city, often sent her some money to help her, in fulfilling her needs, but she would not accept the money. At times, she even sent the money back to me. She said "I have enough money."

That was Mother's Sixth Lie.

After graduating with a Bachelor's Degree, I then continued to do a Master's Degree. It was funded by a company through a scholarship program, from a famous University in America. I finally worked in the company. With a good salary, I intended to bring my mother to enjoy her life in America. But my lovely mother didn't want to bother her son. She said to me, "I'm not used to." 

That was Mother's Seventh Lie.

In her old age, mother got stomach cancer and had to be hospitalized. I, who lived miles away, across the ocean, went home to visit my dearest mother. She lay in weakness on her bed after having an operation. Mother, who looked so old, was staring at me in deep thought. She tried to spread her smile on her face...but it was a noticeable effort. It was clear that the disease had weakened mother's body. She looked so frail and weak. I stared at my mother with tears flowing. My heart was hurt,... so hurt, seeing my mother in that condition. But mother with the little strength she had, said "Don't cry, my dear. I'm not in pain."

That was Mother's Eighth Lie.

A very simple, but realistically true portrayal of a mother's love. And in case there are people who haven't experienced this, I'm sure there are many of us who can verify that this is indeed true. Maybe the details change from story to story, but the underlying concept that a mother will do anything for her children is always there.

I'm sure that the child in the story loved his mother probably as much as his mother loved him. Probably he even told his mother that he loved her every single day. The question is, are we doing enough for all that our mothers have done for, and continue doing for us? Or are we believing the 'Eight Lies of a Mother' readily enough? Think about the last time you stopped dear old mum and whispered 'I love you', or just a simple 'thank you' in her ear before heading out. Think about the last time you got your mother something she wanted, but not when it was an occasion. Most of us need prodding to remember the love our mother shows us, and typically this happens when an occasion comes, or when mother is not well. Don't wait for occasions or illness, imagine if your mother did the same. Take the time to say thank you, sorry, I love you, and do the little that matter while you have the chance, for morbid as it sounds, one day it might be too late, and you will be left with remorse and guilt that you never got the chance to tell your mother you appreciated her love and loved her as much in return.

Today, even though this is an occasion, I still want to say, "Mom, I Love You"!