I Love Him, I Love Him - 13

Hey people!

I'm terribly sorry, but I can't individually reply to your comments this time, because guess what?

I'm late - AGAIN.

lol

Thank you to everyone who commented and please comment again!

PS: Pic is of Summer. It's amazing, isn't it?

~x~

But, apparently, not for long.

As I handed the blanket to Irena, she said, "Cole, come and sit by Summer."

Immediately, I stiffened up. Firstly, because I didn't want Cole to sit there, especially not during The Ring. I always had to be surrounded by cushions whenever I watched a scary movie; I would always grab something and hug it to my chest whenever I was frightened, and I preferred it to be something soft and comforting. Secondly, because Cole's face twisted into an expression I couldn't decipher before he nodded obediently - I expected it to be disgusting.

"God, bossy." He teased lightly, throwing a grin Irena's way as he pulled himself out of his armchair and came to settle himself into the corner of the sofa next to me. I shuffled inconspicuously away, so there were a few inches of space between us, and picked up the remote.

With a barely suppressed shiver, I lifted my thumb and pressed play.

Immediately, the screen faded into nothing but white, and then there was a little girl sat in a chair, facing away from us, her long hair dark and scraggly as it hung to her waist. The room was white, her clothes were white; the only color was the faded wood of the chair and the blackness of her hair.

Grimy fingers gripped the armrests, and I bit my lip.

Irena was already snuggled up to Nathan, and he had his arm around her, with his eyes fixed on the screen. I glanced over to find my best friend's head practically buried in his side, and wished I had some sort of comfort, too. Cole, obviously, was out of the question.

I patiently sat through all the talks, my fingers twisted into the material of my pants, when the first screening of the video comes on.
There was a series of different shots; the black and white lighthouse, the cellar with the ominous staircase, the woman looking in the mirror and rhythmically brushing her long, dark hair. When it came to the woman tumbling off the edge of the cliff, however, I just couldn't take it anymore. My fingers reached out and grabbed the nearest thing, which just so happened to be Cole's hand.

He glanced at me questioningly, but didn't pull away. I, for one, thought I was doing pretty good. At least I wasn't like Irena, who was already whimpering into Nathan's neck. Or Nathan, for that matter, who spent half the time with his face buried into his girlfriend's hair.

Cole was the epitome of manliness; his eyes stayed unwaveringly on the screen and he didn't flinch once. Hoping he wouldn't notice, I edged closer to his side. He did notice, but he didn't sigh or anything. He just chuckled lightly and squeezed my hand.

And then, when Irena threw us a questioning glance, he casually put his arm around me, keeping up with the pretense of me being his girlfriend. I sighed quietly and looked at my best friend, whose eyes were narrowed suspiciously at us. She cocked her head to the side, and I shrugged. Everybody knew that scary movies were just a chance for couples to snuggle. But Cole seemed oblivious of this fact.

I turned my head away from Irena and back to the screen, casually leaning my head against Cole's shoulder. When he was holding me like this, it was easy to pretend he cared, even a little bit. It was easy to pretend he liked me beyond royal loyalty.

I pressed the side of my face into his shirt, smelling his clean, fresh scent. He always smelled unbelievably nice, even though I was pretty sure that he didn't use any cologne or anything. It was one of the things I liked about him. He wasn't artificial.

I kicked my fluffy slippers off and pulled my legs onto the couch, curling up against his side. He didn't laugh or comment; his head lay down on top of mine easily as I tucked myself under his arm. I pulled the blanket over us, and then I was warm and comfortable and drowsy - by the time the end credits rolled, I was already asleep.

x~x

I woke up with a start. For a second, I couldn't remember where I was, or why my bed was so warm and comfortable. Then my eyes snapped open and I lifted my head slightly, turning to face a still asleep Cole.

We were asleep in each others arms.

Aw, right? How nice.

No! How not nice. How deceptive and cruel and nasty for my heart. My heart that was tricked into believing he was for real, when he never was. And now I was falling again.

I shifted slightly in his tight embrace, just enough so I could see his face. It was defenseless and open in a way I had never seen before.
His eyes were closed, and his long eyelashes brushed his cheeks lightly, sending dark, long shadows across his face. His brow was smooth for once, and his mouth was set into an expressionless, vulnerable line. His full lips were pouted slightly, though, and I had the irrational urge to feel them against mine once again.

Sighing, I tried to untangle myself from his arms without waking him, quickly realizing that this was an impossible feat. I was mostly on his lap, and I knew moving would make cold air rush into all the places I had been, and this would most likely wake him up. I knew how that felt, after all. For cold air to rush into all the places he had been, I mean. I felt cold every day.

I lay my head against his chest again, succumbing to the realization that I was well and truly stuck. Beneath my cheek and ear, his heart was beating in a steady, balanced rhythm, rocking my head ever so slightly. Dumb, dumb... dumb, dumb... dumb, dumb. It was just a simple heartbeat, and everybody had one, but to me, Cole's seemed special.
It sounded like the sweetest music in the world.

I turned my face into his shirt with tears in my eyes. He was pretending. He never liked you. You're so stupid, for thinking someone like him would even look twice at someone like you. He has Gwendolyn. I'll bet she's pretty and kind and clever, and not a thing like you. There was a little nagging voice at the back of my head, and although I shushed it, I knew it was right.

I always knew it was right.

Because how could somebody like me get somebody like Cole? It never made any sense, and it never would. I was an average, plain girl; he was something of the Gods. I tried to calm my hitched breathing as the tears pooled in my eyes. Outside, the skies rumbled dangerously.

You're so stupid. So stupid.

I pressed my face further into his shirt, hoping he wouldn't wake up. I was suddenly hyper aware of the warm, strong arms locked around me and the muscled, nice smelling chest beneath my face. Almost involuntarily, my hand reached up to lay itself across the exact place where his heart was. Beneath my palm, I could feel that steady rhythm again, and closing my eyes, I began to cry.

After a little while, Cole began to stir, and from his lips tumbled the name I least wanted to hear;

"Gwendolyn?"

I hurriedly wiped the tears from my face and shook my head, trying to untangle myself from his arms again. This time, he let me.

"No. I'm Summer." I said, climbing off the sofa and jamming my feet into my slippers again. My ankle felt a lot better, and I hobbled to the kitchen without the aide of a crutch.

"Oh. Sorry. I thought I was still asleep. You seemed a lot like Gwendolyn, you know - she used to sleep in the same way." Cole said, in a casual but adoring tone. I bit down on my lip hard and turned my face away as he joined me in the kitchen.

"Oh?" I asked lightly, reaching into a cupboard and pulling out croissants.

"Yup." Cole helped himself to a glass of orange juice and opened the fridge to scan the full shelves. "All curled up against me, like a cat. I think it's cute."

All right, telling me he had a girlfriend was one thing, but rubbing it in? Telling me that they'd even slept together? Oh god. They'd slept together. Well, what did I expect? He was twenty-two, after all. What normal hot-blooded guy waits six years after the legal age to get some? But wait - is there even a legal age in Constantia? Oh God, oh God, oh God. They slept together.

"Hm." I answered, putting the croissants in the microwave and closing the door.

"I can't wait to see her again." Cole went on, completely oblivious to my internal torment.

"That's sweet."

"Yeah. She has the most amazing hair, you know. Long, right down past her waist, and the blondest blonde you have ever seen. I miss her hair when I go to sleep, because it was so comforting."

Aha! So she was a blonde. I knew it. I knew it all along. Next he was going to tell me about her marvelous bust, or something.

"That's cool. I know a girl who has hair up to her knees. Is her hair that long?" I asked in a detached voice, taking my breakfast back out of the microwave and offering Cole a croissant. He took one, poured me a glass of orange juice, and took a stool opposite the one I was climbing onto.

"No. Her hair's only a little past her waist." Cole said, smiling at the thought. I felt a stab of pain in my chest, but somehow, couldn't stop this sick curiosity that was building up inside of me. I wanted to know all about this girl, who had the original place in Cole's heart.

"And is she pretty? Gwendolyn, I mean." I said casually, ripping off a bit of bread and stuffing it in my mouth. Cole gulped down some orange juice.

"The prettiest girl I've ever seen." He answered dreamily, confirming my worst fears. Then he winked. "Besides from you, of course, princess."

I smiled weakly and sipped my orange juice to hide the sad set of my mouth that I couldn't seem to get rid of.

"Right." I said, my tone more sarcastic than I meant it to be. "And will I meet her?"

"Of course!" Cole grinned and finished off his juice with a final gulp. "She was so excited when she heard I was the one to come and get you, because she's always wanted to meet you. Everyone in the kingdom, in fact, has been long awaiting your arrival."

The thought of loads of people lined up, bowing at my feet, was almost too much to bear. I set my croissant down, suddenly feeling sick.

"Um... oh no." The panic gripped hold of me, and I stood up, sending my chair tipping dangerously towards the floor. "I don't know how to be a princess! I don't know how to do royally things, or even how to tell somebody what to do! I - I don't even know how to control my magic yet!"

I was wailing in a very un-Summer like way, gripping fistfuls of my (too short, too dark, too not-Gwendolyn-like) hair. Cole stood up and gripped the tops of my arms.

"Snap out of it, Summer! What do you think I'm for? I'm going to teach you everything on the way to the castle. The portals a long way away from the kingdom; we'll have ample time to get you ready for everything."

Although I didn't believe him, I found myself calming down, my short gasps turning to easy breaths as he rubbed my arms reassuringly. "Sh, see. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay." He repeated over and over, and then he did something totally unexpected. He pulled me towards him and enveloped me in his wonderfully strong-yet-gentle arms. "It's going to be okay."

I lay my head against his chest for the second time that morning, breathing in his scent deeply. After all, when we were in the other world, I wouldn't be able to do this anymore. I needed to get a lifetime supply of his smell, to get me through the days when I would be a lonely princess and he would be living it up with the pretty, long-haired Gwendolyn. After a long moment, Cole spoke again.