I Love Him, I Love Him Not - 19

Hey hey people.

I am so, SO sorry. I am late AGAIN. Please repost any important comments or questions you may have left on the previous chapter on this one so I can answer them next time.

Again, so sorry! Thank you for the comments, and please comment again!
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"Do you want to stop for a bit?" Cole asked over the steady rhythm of Tawny and Lightning’s hooves beating against the dirt track. "Take a break?"

I didn’t look at him. I couldn’t stand to, after what I had learned two days before. The couple looked ridiculously happy all the time, and that just made me feel ridiculously sick, all the way through my stomach.

"No." I said in what I hoped was a normal voice, but could tell was probably as stony as the rocks we occasionally passed. "I’m fine."

Actually, the seat of my jeans felt like it had probably become faded, I was that achy. Who ever thought riding a horse could make you feel so... sore?

"Come on. We’ve been going for six hours straight. You don’t even have to get off the horse. Just eat, God damn it." Cole cried angrily, yanking on Lightning’s reins to make him slow down. He was angry with me because I hadn’t eaten or drank anything but another cup of Meade’s cinnamon tea since I learnt of the news.

I tugged gently on the leather straps in my hand and reluctantly brought the horse to a stop.

"Toss me the water, then." I said, holding my hands out for the bottle of icy liquid he kept at his belt. He threw me a disgusted look, but unhooked the bottle and threw it to me. I caught it and unscrewed the cap, holding it to my lips and relishing the taste of water so cold and fresh that it almost hurt as it went down my throat. I was thirsty, glad of the drink, and so I had finished it by the time I was done. "Sorry." I apologized as I threw the bottle back.

"It’s all right. We’ll just pick some more up. Now eat something." He unhooked the backpack from his shoulder and unzipped it, but I held out my hand to stop him.

I might be thirsty, but I definitely wasn’t hungry. I still had that sick feeling coursing through me. "No thanks."

"Seriously, Summer, if you don’t eat, I will force the stuff into your mouth." He growled, annoyed, taking some flat bread out and holding it out to me.

"No, you won’t." I replied in a cold voice. "I’ll eat when I’m ready."

"Well, when are you going to be ready? You haven’t eaten for a good few days, Summer. You’re going to collapse." Cole said in a harsh tone as he settled Lightening down.

"I’m fine." I said standoffishly.

"We’ll be coming to the next town in a couple of hours, princess.
Promise me you’ll eat then." He pleaded, his enormous eyes going all soft and sweet. I narrowed my eyes at his unfair trick.

"I won’t promise anything. Promises are made to be broken in this place." I spat out, feeling a hot flush suffuse my cheeks, before turning Tawny around and kicking her gently into a canter. She obeyed quickly, and soon, we were racing down that track, the wind pulling at my hair and biting at my cheeks.

A few seconds later, I heard Cole behind me.

The next ‘town’ we came to was really only just a village – houses no larger than huts were scattered around in a loose circle, and there was a large bonfire at the centre. The place seemed entirely empty, save for a couple people, one of whom greeting us as we trotted to a stop.

"Welcome, your highness." An old man said as he leant heavily on his stick. He had a little white goatee and killer sideburns, but no other hair whatsoever.

"Um, hello." I said back, jumping off Tawny and pulling her over to the stables, where Cole was currently leading Lightening. I found her a nice, clean stall and locked her up with a fresh bucket of hay and carrots.

"We hope your stay here will be an enjoyable one. My grandson, for one, simply cannot wait to meet you."

"Thank you. Where is your grandson?" I smiled at him, pushing my windswept hair from my eyes. "I’ll say hello and then, if it’s not too much trouble, go to bed. We’ve had a long ride."

"Certainly." The old man grinned a toothless smile. "He’s at the fire. You two young things go and meet him - I’ll be at my house if you need anything."

I thanked him and then Cole and I walked silently to the centre of the ring of houses, where a boy was sat next to a large bonfire, his back to us. As soon as he heard our approach, he turned around, and I balked. I was in mid step, and I just stopped. Because I couldn’t believe who was standing in front of me.

"Your highness." The boy bowed low before me, not unlike Cole had when he first dropped the bomb that I was royalty. And then, when he straightened up, he balked, too. "Summer?" In that one word he managed to string a thousand questions, a thousand reliefs, a thousand memories.

"Oh my God, Thomas!" I cried, and then he was holding his arms out and I was launching myself at him, locking my arms around his neck like I never wanted to let go. "Tommy. You’re here."

"Summer. You’re the princess. I always had my suspicions, but... wow. Oh God, I’ve missed you like hell, doll." He said, crushing me to his chest like he didn’t want to let go of me, either. He used to always call me doll, ever since we watched Grease together.

"I’ve missed you, too. I mean... Chile? What happened to Chile?"
"All lies, doll. We needed to keep you off the scent." He said, twisting his fingers in my hair and smiling that gorgeous, even smile that I had always loved.

I brought my hands up and cupped his face, not quite believing that it was him. My fingers ran through his dark red hair, which shimmered like ruby gold in the firelight, and I just couldn’t stop staring at the way he had changed. His hair was the same straight softness, but he was at least two feet taller, and all muscle and strength. His eyes were like emeralds, whereas they had been hazel before, and his lips were now fully kissable. He was hot now. Tommy Lacrosse, the same Tommy Lacrosse who had declared his undying love for me back in second grade, was hot now.

And then, before I even knew what was happening, he had lowered his face and pressed his lips to mine - gently, just once. But it was enough. It was enough to make me feel happy again.

I wound my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. My stomach was pressed up against his, so he felt, rather than heard, my stomach rumble.

"Hungry, are we? Come to my place. I’ll get you something to eat." He murmured, stroking my cheekbone with a soft thumb. I smiled at him, wanting to kiss him again.

"Okay." Then I finally remembered Cole, and I turned around to see him stood there, an incomprehensible expression on his face. He looked at me stonily, and if it was someone other than him, the man who was so happy about his girlfriend being pregnant, then maybe I would have sworn that I saw hurt on his face. But it was him, so I dismissed the idea and beckoned him forward with my hand. "Come eat with us." I offered, actually hoping for once, that he would say no.

Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t that fickle. I didn’t not like Cole anymore. I really, really liked Cole. In a way that made my palms go sweaty and my mouth go dry and my heart gallop as fast as Tawny on a roll. But right now, Cole had someone else, and I was breaking into a tiny million little pieces inside.

I needed someone, a friend, to try and fix me again.

And who better than Thomas Lacrosse, the guy I knew I had always loved?

"No. No, I’m okay, thank you." Cole said politely, and then, without another word, turned and walked calmly away. I watched his broad back retreat, feeling a strange sort of tugging very near the vicinity of my heart, and then Tommy was there, turning me around from my shoulders and pulling me into his arms like he just couldn’t get enough.

I squeezed him tight, but my mind was elsewhere.

So, I thought drily, was my heart.

It was being carried away by the beautiful blue eyed man who didn’t glance back to check on me, not even once. And I was pretty sure that while it was with him, he was trying his damnedest to break it into a thousand tiny little slivers of glass, so that it couldn’t be put together again. The tugging twanged in my chest again, and I closed my eyes.
He was doing a perfect job of it. Why, it felt like my heart was barely there anymore.

I couldn’t even feel it beating.

"Come on. I have bread, and cheese, and cucumber." Tommy said in what he probably fancied was an enticing voice, but really just sounded happy. I laughed, but the sound was half forced.

"I’m there."

And so Tommy took my hand and led me to one of the huts, where we proceeded to eat and talk and laugh the night away.
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We didn’t stay long at Tommy’s village. A night and half a day was all, and in all that time, I didn’t really talk to Cole. It was incredibly silly, but a broken heart isn’t really all that easy to get over.
So we packed some more food, made promises to see Tommy and the old man later, and set off on our journey again. It was long, silent, and uneventful - that is until Tawny started playing up.

At first, we didn’t notice that anything was wrong. We were going at a steady trot as we were both tired - you couldn’t tell anything was amiss. It was when we both kicked it up to a canter that I realized that Tawny was limping. Well, not limping as such. But there was definitely something wrong with her leg.

I, not wanting to have to talk to Cole over such trivial things, said nothing. We left the dirt track and Cole led us into the woods, to see if we could find a stream or something to fill our flasks up with. And that’s when Tawny collapsed.

She literally collapsed. Her legs just gave out from beneath her, and suddenly I was rolling on the ground, leaping safely to my feet. The beautiful horse was sitting down, refusing to move.

"Is she all right?" Cole asked, worriedly, tugging Lightening to a stop and jumping down. He came over to us and knelt next to Tawny. "What happened?"

"I don’t know." I said, watching as his skillful hands ran gently over her flanks. "She just sort of fell."

Cole seemed unimpressed with this answer. He ran his fingers down over her legs and hooves, and then tangled his fingers in her mane, petting her reassuringly.

"Something’s wrong with her leg. I don’t think you should be riding her." He said seriously, straightening up to his normal height. "Here, give me your water."

I handed my flask over quickly and watched as he unscrewed it. He punched a hole in the matted grass at our feet, and then tippled some liquid into it. Tawny immediately lapped it up. He continued to this until she had had enough, and then he chugged back the last dredges of my water.

I scowled, and held out my hand for the container. There was still a little water sloshing around in the bottom, and without hesitating, I lifted the rim to my lips and sipped it back.

"I see you don’t mind my germs anymore." He chuckled lightly, running a hand through his dark hair. I smiled slightly at the reference to my OCD-like pet peeve and shrugged.

"I stopped minding your germs ages ago." I replied easily, reaching up to pat my own hair down into something that didn’t resemble a haystack. Although I was quite sure that my hair would never look like a haystack again, old habits die hard. "So... what do we do?"

Cole, walking back to Lightening, looked thoughtful. "The best thing would be to set up camp. It doesn’t look like Tawny’s moving anytime soon, and Gwen will catch up with Joshua soon, who knows all about horses..." He looked up at the sky that, even though it was mid-afternoon, was shadowed. "But it’s going to rain soon. A right storm. We’ll have to decide soon, so we can put up shelter."

I thought about it. If we stayed here, I would have to spend a few nights with Cole... alone. But if we carried on, we’d have to share a horse, and that would be God knows how many days pressed up against him without actually having him. Pure torture.

"Um, I think it would be best to set up camp." I said, and saw that Cole approved. He nodded, and with an expression faintly resembling a smile, tied both horses loosely to a nearby tree.

"All right. Look after the horses while I look about for branches." Cole ordered, turning his back on me. I didn’t even get a chance to reply, he was gone that fast. And then I was alone.

Slowly, I sank into the grass. It was long. So long, in fact, that the strands tickled my nose as I leaned against a tree. But I didn’t care.
Because even if it was long, it was pretty, and I couldn’t see any bugs lurking about anywhere. It looked safe. After what seemed like a lifetime, Cole returned, lugging behind him various large bits of wood.