Gotta Be Stronger

Fingers curled at my side,
I keep telling myself I'll be strong,
But sometimes the future seems bleak...
How can I possibly go on?

So many things push me down,
Sometimes all I can do is walk like a zombie,
Eyes open, smile frozen on my face,
Hiding pain no one can see.

So many choices to make,
Am I doing anything right?
But even if I'm completely wrong,
I won't go down without a fight.

I repeat to myself,
'I'm stronger than this',
But I cry myself to sleep still...
Wondering what I'd miss.

I pray so hard, asking for strength,
I can't let anything fall apart,
'Become stronger' is now my motto...
Nothing can go wrong in my mind or heart.

Where is a place to feel safe?
Where is my friend?
Who can I trust?
Is everything coming to an end?

Nothing can shock me now,
I am so numb, I cannot feel.
Not knowing what I can believe,
What's fake?
What's real?

Hopelessness is blending in,
Faith and trust barely holding on,
I need to be stronger...
But everything is so wrong.