I Don't Want Anything

I don’t want anything.
I am absolutely not wanting anything now.
I don’t ever get what I want, and I never learn.
There is something that keeps pushing me to start new, I am going to push that ‘something’ out of my system. There need not be any hope, there need not be any expectation.
Expectations make you run even when you have lost your shoes, and they don’t let you realize, that you are skinning your legs now, but, expectations, more than practical, make you run enough to leave your shoes far behind, and give you wounded heels,
that don’t heal so soon.
Wounds are meant to heal with time, sometimes they grow deeper with time though.
They lose their face from surface, make a home within, and we say we have "healed" and "just-a-scar" is left.
Scar is the first place that bleeds on slightest impact. Its only on pages of bestsellers, do people grow stronger with wounds.
I get weaker with wounds.
I am weak.

I don’t believe in karma, as what you do to others, never is returned, or at least never with the sense you had in your mind.
Or it might be so, that it takes more than a lifetime for our good deeds to return to us. (In that case I have to wait more,)
There is no such thing as constant.
Nothing is constant.
You cannot decide something and execute it accordingly, if at all it happens, it’s just a sweet coincidence, that you disguise as execution of your planning.
There are so many factors on different levels, that we never even think of in this whole lifetime, and there might be so many more that we cant ever imagine. Still somehow, we feel good on seeing something happen the way we thought it would.
The person you know so well today, could be a stranger tomorrow, and a person totally irrelevant whatsoever, could change your life with the most frivolous decision he makes for himself.
The most eligible bachelor @ 18 may die a bachelor at 80, or the person to be voted as probably_the_last_person_to_marry_in_your_college_batch could get married among first 10 people to get married from your batch.
Everything is so unbelievably possible and at the same time impossible, its really a matter of where you are, when your destiny is searching you.
If you are in the right place at the right time you get it all, otherwise you also can write posts longer than this one, and let more people like you read this, and smile by the time they reach here (thinking about how cynical/sarcastic I am..)
I don’t want anything.