I Am in a Program; Dad was in a Hospital

All I can do is, be around you
For just a few hours each day
Not allowed to be with you all day
Because of what I did.
I never thought that it would matter
But now that it is actually happening
I've finally realized that life's extremely short.

I can't begin to explain what its like to be in my shoes
Wanting to say sorry each and every day!
Wanting to be with you every minute of every last day.
I'm 16 years old watching what I've done to you
Not being able to be with you in your last hours
Because of what I did.

Now it is too late
Wanting it to be like it was when I was two
Giving you a hug,
And crying on your shoulder.
I miss you so much I can't begin to explain what its like.
I'm sorry for everything I've done
I now realize that you weren't joking when you would say
"Jake you are going to kill me one of these days" was true.