Yes, I know it is awful to go through a break up. The fights, misunderstandings, moving out, and the alone time, all make life so much tougher, and leave you wondering just how to deal with a broken heart. Bryan Adams expressed the emotional surge so beautifully in his song "When you're gone" in the verse,
"I've been wandering around the house all night,
Wondering what the hell to do,
I'm trying to concentrate but all I can think of,
Well the phone don't ring cuz my friends ain't home,
I'm tired of being all alone,
Got the tv on, cuz the radio's playing songs that remind me
Even if it has been the worst break up in the history of relationships, it is natural for one to miss someone whom they shared a relationship with. Not because you can't find someone else or someone better, but because their presence had become a part of your life. It is natural if that's what you are going through, and it certainly is not the end of the road. All you need to do is to try to move ahead, in a healthy way.
Tips to Get Through a Break Up
Never Blame Yourself of Your Ex
When in the process of surviving a break up, first and foremost, you need to stop blaming anyone. Neither was it your fault, nor was it your ex-partner's. It was simply the end of a thread - the relationship had to end some day, and so it did. This philosophy will help you clear your mind of all the guilt and the anger. Often people, women especially, blame themselves for the breakup, even if it was the other partner's fault. Don't do that, my dear. Once you come to terms with the fact that the relationship was dying anyway, you will feel relieved that it is finally over. This will help you a great deal in coping after a break up.
Take Control of Your Life
So, you did the one week mourning and the crying all night. It is now time to regain control of your life. Don't forget that the only one who has any control over the reigns of your life is you. More so, you have a life, sweetheart, and just because you had a break up, it does not mark the ending of your life as well. Start performing your regular activities. Go to work, attend your classes, go to your favorite cafe or pub again. In short, live your life, because, you must. There are no two ways about that. Often it is seen that despite the contradictory perception, surviving a break up for men is harder as compared to women. So, chill out, go hang out with your friends.
Surviving a break up for women seems tougher because, by nature women like stability, on an average. Hence, the disruption caused by the breakup can cause them to feel depressed for the new void in their life. Well honey, that is totally normal. But, at the end of the day, you need to get over it. you need to reaffirm yourself, of the very clichéd, but helpful line "If you are single today, fret not. It is only because of your future partners prayers." Yes, I know it is very "out there", but on a serious note, just because one relationship did not work out, does not mean that none in the future will, right?
Seek Solace in Your Friends and Family
Post break up is time for ranting to friends or family members who you are close to. It really helps. Not just because you get to vent out all the aggression or emotion within, but also because you have company at all times. Their positivity will definitely rub off on you and help you as well. More so, most relationships see people spending lesser and lesser time with their friends. So, now it is time to make it up to them. Meet up with them regularly, hang out and do everything that was "routine" for you before. It will give you a sense of familiarity and comfort, as well as happiness.
This is one of my favorite methods to survive after a break up. I believe in the philosophy that a healthy body leads to a content and healthy mind. So, work out, join a gym, go running everyday. Exercise releases endorphins that make us feel good and happy. Regular exercise will not only make you fitter, but happier as well. Let's face it, looking good will help you feel even better, right? So be it yoga or gym, resistance training or jogging, anything that helps you work off a sweat, will work for you.
One of the age-old techniques to get through a break up is to move on and have a "rebound relationship". That is a relationship that makes you feel better, but not one that you have any specific emotional attachment to. As much as such relationships work, my suggestion would be to avoid them. It could have a side effect of you getting too attached in the relationship, like going from one addiction to another. So, concentrate and focus on yourself and you should be able to break free from the past relationship.