How to Stop Being Jealous

"Jealousy is the dragon in paradise; the hell of heaven; and the most bitter of the emotions because associated with the sweetest." - A.R. Orage

As explained by William Shakespeare, jealousy is one green eyed monster that troubles most of the people, especially, those who are in a relationship! Every person has stood on either side of the fence of jealousy at least once in his lifetime. There are times people wonder, is jealousy a woman's domain? Well, not really! Both men and women equally suffer from jealousy. The exact origin of jealousy can be found in a motley of different feelings which are not always irrational to be honest. It is a blend of fear and insecurity of losing a priceless possession or a person.

Many psychologists refer jealousy directly to the lack of self esteem in a relationship. After a while jealousy, reinforces itself and starts to captivate the normal routine of a person and turns his life into an absolute disaster. Jealousy can be occasional and it can be regular that simply wouldn't go away. Yes, we know all these things, the question is - how to stop being jealous? Let's figure it out.

How to Stop Being Jealous in a Relationship?
As Maya Angelou says, jealousy in a relationship is like salt in the food. A little can enhance the savor and too much can spoil the pleasure. Jealousy in a relationship is the reward of love in the initial days of the relationship, but later on dealing with jealousy starts to become a major problem for both the partners. People get so irritated at times, that they even come to the decision of ending the relationship.

Be Positive
Jealousy often comes as a package deal with some sad past experiences of that person, which makes him/her difficult to trust any person. If you have gone through a horrible experience in the past regarding a cheating or dishonest ex partner, then jealousy is very obvious for you. A little bit of fear oriented jealousy is justified but again too much of it, is always harmful. Trust your partner, not all the fingers in a hand are same. Remember that the fear of losing what you have will stop you from having it in the first place.

Self Esteem
It is often observed that many people who want to learn how to stop being jealous are actually victims of acute low self esteem, self defeating behaviors and minor amount of depression as well. Well, I am not trying to underestimate, but it is often observed that jealousy really lowers the self esteem of a person. It is also important to find out the reason behind the low self esteem, often, an abusive relationship also leads to low self esteem that ultimately leads to jealousy and excessive anger that ruins the relationship. Find out the source of the low self esteem and try to overcome it. You can practice several therapies like anger management and couple therapies for the cause.

Talk It Out
If you want to learn how to stop being jealous, the first thing to do is to discuss the matter with your partner. Jealousy starts to rule the world if the matter is not resolved in a timely manner. Before jumping to any conclusions, remember that reality is often far more better than it seems. Be specific with your partner and let him/her know about your doubts about his/her infidelity rather than getting jealous. Talk and sort it out, it will definitely help you to stop being jealous.

How to Stop Being a Jealous Boyfriend or Girlfriend?
Well, how to deal with jealousy that sneaks in, when one of the partners is still sharing a healthy friendship with his/her ex? A tough call this, but on the other hand, it can be solved in no time. Many girlfriends and boyfriends just go crazy and often assume it as signs of cheating in relationship, which is not fair! Following things might help you learn how to stop being a jealous girlfriend or a jealous boyfriend.

Analyze the Situation
When you are feeling jealous, most of the reasons are only superficial, the things that you have just seen but not understood. If the partner comes late, doesn't answer the call at the very first ring, forgets some small things, if a friend of his/hers makes a gesture that wake up the 'green eyed monster'; then just try to ignore the above mentioned incidences and such small issues. Don't let these incidences come between the love that you share for each other. I am not blaming the entire feeling of jealousy as a built-up scenario of your mind, what I am trying to say is analyze the situation and then react to it accordingly.

Give Space
Never forget the fact that your partner has a world of his/her own other than you. Yes, you should be his first priority, but there are many other things left for him to do that are equally important. The best relationship is the perfect blend of two different people. Give each other enough space to breathe easy and enjoy some relaxed moments with different people and things. This will give both of you a chance for self analyzing as well. Another important thing is not to rely totally on your partner, emotionally. Make sure you do not doom your partner with constant worries and problems. Live your life the healthy way and not as an unwanted emotional baggage over each other.

Trust and Honesty
Trust and honesty are the two cornerstones of a healthy relationship. Lack of trust can lead to extreme jealousy. Try to figure out the origin of your jealousy and after broaching it out with your partner, trust him/her. Trust on his love and respect when he is genuinely insisting. There is no need to be a jealous if he is still in touch with his ex. Concentrate on the fact that she is the past and that is why he is with you. Along with trust, honesty is also a very important virtue. Good or bad, your feelings must be honest and true to your partner. Honesty is really important to avoid needless relationship breakups.

Those who are taking an effort to learn how to stop being jealous, actually know all the solutions to their jealousy problems, its just that they do not trust on their execution power to stop being jealous. The finest answer to how can I stop being jealous in a relationship is hidden in self resolve! A sincere effort to evade the good old green eyed demon is the only thing that is expected from you. Is it too much to ask?