How to Overcome Shyness - 3 Simple Tips

How to overcome shyness is something that many people struggle with in their lives. Contrary to popular belief, most people are not born extroverts and they have to learn how to become more outgoing. Luckily, when given the right set of tools and the proper mindset, it’s possible to find your inner courage and step boldly out of the shadows. No matter how shy you are, or how much you struggle with self esteem issues, there are many things you can do to help you feel more confident.

Here are 3 simple tips that can help you instantly.

1. Step into the role of a confident person

You may think I’m talking about the age old advice that says you should pretend to be more outgoing, to act the part until you truly feel more confident. That’s not what I’m saying. Pretending to be something you’re not usually leaves you feeling like a phony. It makes you feel like you’re simply wearing a mask, or playing a role that at any moment could be discovered by the outside world.

What I’m talking about is actually taking the time to envision yourself as a confident person. You want to imagine what you would think, how you would feel, and the way you would carry yourself. Then make a mental shift, actually step into that new reality, even if it’s only in your head, and experience the world through this new set of eyes. It’s an extremely powerful technique and, when used often enough, helps you to establish long term confidence in yourself.

2. Keep things in perspective

If you want to learn how to overcome shyness, you have to take a close look at your perceptions. People who are shy tend to think that their opinions aren’t important, that no one wants to hear what they have to say, that they’re not exciting enough or funny enough…the list goes on and on. The reality is that everyone is special, everyone has unique gifts and talents and it’s up to you to share those with others.

One powerful way to keep this point in mind, and not let your doubts overtake you, is to imagine that you’re 100 years old and looking back over your life. You’ve let your shyness stop you from taking chances, from speaking up, and doing the things you’ve always dreamed of doing. Think of all the lost chances, the missed opportunities, and the squandered connections your shyness has caused. Really feel the loss….the sadness, frustration and regret. When you look back from this perspective, the things you feared really don’t seem to be nearly as important as the life you missed as a result, do they?

3. Focus inward, not outward

Too often people who are shy focus on the reactions of those around them rather than their own feelings and thoughts. Now, we’ve already established that you should keep things in perspective, but that also refers to the outside world. As WC Fields said, "It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to."

At the end of the day, it’s not what people say to you (or about you) that matters. It’s about what you say to yourself afterwards that makes or breaks your self esteem. Eleanor Roosevelt probably stated it best, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Keep this is mind as you go through your day and be very conscious of your reaction to the events around you. It’s your reaction, not the events, that matter.

Whether you’re shy or outgoing is not something that’s determined at birth. It’s a social skill, just like any other, and it can be developed and strengthened at any age. The key to the process is to remember that you have the power to shape your world however you choose. The most surprising thing to most people is that how to overcome shyness is not really about your interaction with the world, but about the internal dialogue you have with yourself.

Author Philip Fowler would like to give you a free video please visit http://www.triggerselfconfidence.com