How to Help Linus Let Go: Weaning Toddlers from Security Blankets

Don’t ever underestimate the power of a security blanket! Just ask Linus Van Pelt, the character from the "Peanuts" comic strip. Since 1952, he has been carrying his infamous blue blanket with him everywhere he goes, bringing comfort in a sometimes big and scary world. It’s amazing how the familiar feel and smell of baby blankets, stuffed animals, pacifiers, or even a pillow case can soothe a seething child. It is estimated that 60% of young children find comfort in these items when they are going to sleep or are mildly distressed.

During the first few years of life, relying on a security blanket is acceptable and even encouraged. But, what happens when your child is about to enter kindergarten and wants to take his or her "blankie"? Carrying a lovie at two is cute, but keeping it with you at 6 may be questionable. If you’re beginning to see some Linus-like tendencies in your child and you feel it’s time to say bye-bye to the blankie, here are some ways to help your little Linus let go.

De-emphasize It
Sometimes, the less attention paid to the blanket the better. Try not to scold or repeatedly address your child’s need for the blanket. This allows the child to self-wean. If it’s left behind, for example, don’t make a big deal about it. Many children who feel they are losing the "best buddy" become resistant and even defiant when it is removed. If this happens, it may be an indication that it’s too soon or you may need to try a more subtle approach.

Plant seeds of independence
Children are very perceptive and begin understanding our implications at a young age. You can begin preparing your child for the separation by casually mentioning that "when you get big you won’t need this blanket anymore." They will begin to associate that carrying a blanket is for babies and they’re desire to be a big boy or girl will help them to make the transition.

Smaller, smaller, smaller, gone!
Consider cutting off a small square of the security blanket and give that to the child instead of the entire thing. Gradually decrease the size of the square until it is gone. Because it’s generally the smell and texture, not the size, that brings comfort, soon the child will no longer need the tiny piece of cloth.

Limit its usage
If your child and his blanket seem inseparable, begin limiting the times when it can be used. Reduce it to bed time or nap time just to fall asleep, during story time or use it just at home and not outside of the house. Gradually reduce the time until the child no longer needs it at all. This slow-removal approach seems to work best.

Right of passage
A few months before your child’s 4th or 5th birthday, begin talking about putting away the blanket as a sign of growing up and make a big celebration out of it. Turn the negative into a positive, I always say. Explain in terms that your child will understand that in addition to getting a lot of gifts, this is one gift she can give herself - independence. Talking about it, like he or she is a big boy or girl and associating giving it up with something positive (a birthday), can make it a lot easier.

Share the love
Some families have also found it helpful for the child to pass the cherished blanket on to someone else. This is a wonderful gesture if a close family friend or relative has just had a baby (however, I would not suggest this for a sibling unless you have fully prepared the older sibling, as this might intensify the potential for conflict and jealousy when a new baby arrives.) Because it is a gift that will help someone else like it has helped them, they can let go knowing that they have done a good deed, says Dr. Julie Lumeng, of the University of Michigan's Center for Human Growth and Development in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Reap the rewards
Positive reinforcement works wonders! Incorporate a system where you can reward your child for not using the blanket. For example, you can give a reward for successfully leaving the blanket on the counter for an hour. Gradually increase the time until it can be left for half a day. Then progress to leaving it in the drawer for the morning, and so on, until you’ve reached an entire day. If your child does need to go back and get it, at times, encourage your child to place it back once he or she is calm. Eventually, the blanket will no longer be needed.

Keep in mind that, even though they appear carefree, toddlers can’t fully articulate their frustrations, fears and worries the way older children and adults can, which is why security blankets are helpful. So, don’t add to the stress by removing it abruptly or prematurely. Knowing the right time to put away the security blanket depends on the individual child. However, when your child begins communicating fears and frustrations with words, it may be time to pack the blanket away with other childhood memories.

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