How to Help a Pathological Liar

If you are in a relationship with someone who has a tendency to lie about every small or big thing and you fear that they may be a pathological liar, identifying it as soon as possible will do you a lot of good. The reason being that pathological liars resort to lying unabashedly, without any guilt or remorse, and almost always have a goal in mind which they want to achieve with their lies. They might even use people who are close to them and win their sympathies with their lies and stories, only to leave them in lurch later on. However, this does not mean that pathological liars should be left to deal with their own fate. In majority of the cases, pathological lying is just a symptom of an underlying personality disorder, which a person has no control over. So, convincing a pathological liar to take treatment for the same is the best course of action to take.

Helping a Pathological Liar

There is one thing common to all pathological liars - at some level, they start believing their own lies and thus end up living in this "false reality" that they weave through their lies. They believe in their lies to such an extent that they are completely at ease when telling them to others. This makes it difficult to identify a pathological liar. Nevertheless, there are some symptoms of a pathological liar, by identifying which you can spot them easily.

Identify the Signs
The foremost sign of pathological liars is that these people are very insecure. So, in order to cover this up and to gain acceptance and appreciation of others, they exaggerate stories and experiences in their life. Pathological liars also have a tendency for one up manship. With their lies, they like to show others that they can do everything better than others!

When trying to spot a pathological liar, look out for contradictions in their stories. Usually, pathological liars get so caught up in their own lies that they often tend to tell the same story in a different light or may replace the characters and try to pass on the same incidence to others. Pathological liars are attention seekers, sympathy seekers and can very easily use their lies to manipulate others. That's why, convincing them to take treatment, before their lies destroy their personal relationships, is very important.

Confront Them
Once you are convinced that the person needs professional help, the next step is to start collecting evidence of their false stories. These will come handy when you confront them. The initial reaction of pathological liars, when their lies are pointed out, is to act defensive and not acknowledge that they have a problem. So, when confronting them, do not ever accuse them or blame them or act aggressive, instead, very gently and with a lot of calm and patience, point out how their lies are affecting people close to them. Assuring the pathological liar that you care for his well-being and that's why are suggesting that he seeks psychiatric help is more likely to convince him to take treatment than accusing him or acting aggressively.

Treatment
The treatment begins with diagnosing the personality disorder which might be causing such a behavior in a person. The treatment usually involves psychotherapy or cognitive behavioral therapy, along with counseling and medication. The success of the treatment solely depends upon how much the pathological liar is convinced of his problem and whether he is willing to take steps to overcome this disorder.

Supporting a pathological liar is the best thing that you can do, especially if you are someone close. However, if you feel that the whole situation is affecting your own mental and emotional health in a big way, it is suggested that you move away from the situation.