How to Get Your Girlfriend Back when all Else Fails

Breaking up is tough, made even tougher by the range of emotions you feel after your ex ends things with you. Although it's difficult, you'll need to clear your head and put aside the hurt, depression, hopelessness, and anger you might feel toward your ex girlfriend. Getting back together requires you to change your thinking, and you can't do this if you're wallowing in the misery of your breakup. All the right moves to make seem to go against logic: they're the opposite of everything you're feeling right now after being dumped. It'll take courage and determination to get past your break up and make the correct moves that will get your girlfriend back.

If everything you've done so far seems only to make your ex run in the opposite direction - this article is for you.

Think about the things you've done already: you've written her love notes, picked out cards that tell her how much you love her... maybe you sent her flowers or even promised to change your ways. These are all things she's been dying to hear, right? So why does every one of these moves suddenly cause her to pull away from you, looking scared and annoyed? How come your ex isn't calling you, or picking up the calls you're making to her? How come every one of her emails are non-committal one-line responses to yours?

So what are you doing wrong? Just about everything. And here's why:

Instead of looking at the break up from your exgirlfriend's point of view, you're only seeing things through your own eyes. Every one of the above behaviors is designed, by you, to do one thing: make yourself feel better. Writing out those notes, cards, and emails - all those things are cathartic. They help you put your thoughts down on paper, and straighten our your feelings in your own mind.

Does this mean you should be forcing these thoughts and feelings on your ex, all at once? No. Such a big emotional flood isn't what she's looking for, especially right now. But you go right on doing it... and why? Because it makes you feel better.

When everything you've done to get your ex back has failed, it's time to start looking at things from a different approach: your exgirlfriend's perspective. After she's broken up with you, your ex is going to feel very strange and weird around you. She'll need to avoid you for a while, and this is exactly why she's running away. You're rushing her with everything you've got... at a time when she needs some space. Calling or emailing or text-messaging your ex right now is only going to push her in the opposite direction. She's not going to answer you, and if she does it's definitely not going to be in the way you want her to.

Don't worry, because you're not alone. Many guys make these exact same mistakes after a break up. But the difference between the guys who lose their girlfriends forever and the ones who get back together with an ex is simple: adaptation. Realize what you're doing wrong, change those behaviors, and work toward winning back your girlfriend instead of making her run away.

For example, did your ex tell you she wants to be friends? Maybe that sounded good to you. Perhaps you thought if you can keep her close by, you can eventually win back your girlfriend's love, right? Right.

That is, until you realize that your exgirlfriend just gave you one of the worst lines of crap in recorded human history. "Let's be friends" is one of the lamest things you can possibly agree to. It's the equivalent of surrendering any romantic feelings you might have for your girlfriend, now and in the future. From now on, whenever you try to make a move toward her, your ex will angrily remind you that you promised to "just be friends".

Believe me when I say you don't want to be friends with your ex. You don't want to sit back and watch her date other guys as she figures out what she wants to do next. The longer you're hanging back on the sidelines in a friendship capacity, the further and further away you get from ever dating your ex again. "Let's be friends" is either a phrase she used to let you down easy or a license for her to test-drive other relationships. As soon as the words leave her lips you should be shaking your head.

Want your girlfriend back? Start today by reversing your thinking. Instead of agreeing to be best buddies with your ex, you should be refusing any offer to be friends or email pen-pals. Instead of begging and pleading for your relationship back, you should be agreeing with the break up and walking away. Your ex-girlfriend expects to see you chase her... but by not doing that she's going to turn around and take a few steps in your direction.

Understand something: Although she broke up with her, she needs you to still want her. Being needed reinforces the fact that she's desirable. Watching you walk away as if the break up means little to you is actually her worst nightmare. Seeing you going out with friends, laughing it up, having a good time without her... this is like poison to your ex. It's going to drive her absolutely crazy and will eventually cause her to question her decision to end things. After all, why is she letting such a strong, confident, and fun guy go?

Breaking exgirlfriend contact right after being dumped is one of the greatest ways to make your ex want you again. By not being around, your ex will miss you. By not seeing what you're doing, she's going to wonder if you really needed her in the first place. Wave goodbye, tell her she's right - breaking up is probably the best thing for the both of you - and then drop out of sight. Head home knowing you've just rolled a grenade into the comfortable little world she planned on living in post-break up. You've shattered her confidence and shaken her resolve. She's going to think long and hard about you, and then she's going to start questioning a lot of things. These are critical first moves along the path to getting back together with your girlfriend.

There are many other great ways to get your ex back. For the complete, 8-Step guide to reversing a breakup, be sure to check out How To Get Back An Ex Girlfriend!