How to Deal with a Bully

Matthew had an extremely hard time dealing with his bully boss. He was working on a good profile and a considerably high post. Still, when it came to his boss, he did not get an ounce of respect and a word of appreciation. Forget about respect, he was not even treated normally. He was always bullied by his boss. He was absolutely at a loss to find out ways to give his boss a taste of his own medicine. Finally Matthew got down saying that enough is enough and charted out an action plan on how to deal with a bully.

I am sure you or someone whom you know has gone through this trauma. Next time someone comes to you for advice on how to deal with a bully, or you yourself need it, read these following things in your mind.

Dealing With a Bully
Its all in the mind. When you are bullied, try and make the bully understand as calmly as possible not to bully you. If this does not work, then you would have to take some serious steps. And these following pointers apply to how to deal with a school bully as well.

• First things first, the bully has attacked the most important part of your personality - your self esteem and confidence. He has corroded it. Walking away, defusing the bully with humor, using assertive language or any other defensive tactic, will help you get back your confidence.
• Make friends with like minded children as much as possible and be in a group. The bully psychology is averse to groups.They pick children who are reserved and are alone.
• Have some adults help you. In case you have an elder sibling in the same school, it will be great. Have your elder sibling give the bully a good piece of his mind.
• There are times when you just have to refuse to take crap. So you have every right to protect yourself from getting bullied.
• And do not forget that even though bullies might seem intimidating on the outside, they are nothing but hollow and pathetic inside. So study them and check what are their weak points and target them while dealing with bullies. It works wonders, trust me! And another extremely crucial thing is that do not ever break down in front of the bully. Get mad at the bully. Do not ever CRY. And for the parents, protecting your child from teasing and bullying is absolutely essential for the development of the child's confidence and esteem.

Now a work place bully could be a different character all together. Stop being bullied at your workplace by using these pointers.

How to Deal with Bully at Work?
Keeping cool is the most effective mantra in the tryst with how to deal with a bully, be it office or anywhere. If the need be, practice keeping a nonchalant, straight face in front of the mirror. This is a must. Because if you react, the bully will reap the rewards of his bullying. Another thing that can be done is to try and anticipate what the bully is going to blurt around and do. Devise ways to throw back the joke meant for you back on the bully. Perhaps you can rehearse some witty 'give it back to him phrases'. Then, generally in the workplace there is a lot of possibility that the bully will comment on and criticize your work, even though there is nothing faulty in it. So quietly and discreetly rally support from those close to you to promote your work. This is a good strategy to deal with bullying at work. Obviously for this, you would have to see to it that your conduct and performance is unquestioned. If nothing of this works, talk to the boss as a last resort. Otherwise, it will represent you as being weak.

But what would you do if the boss himself is a bully? Here is how to deal with a boss who is a bully.

How to Deal with Bully Bosses?
Well, this is a tricky situation to be in. You have to bottle up your emotions eve, though you want to give it back to your boss. But hard luck you cannot, as after all, that is your boss. So how do you go about it? To begin with keep your performance and conduct at its best and prove your capabilities. Hopefully the boss would deter from bullying you. Observe what makes the temper of the boss go awry. Do not do things which will set off his temper. In case the boss indulges in verbal tirade against you, respond in a soothing, calm voice. This will lead to half the job done of cooling the boss down. Ask him where you went wrong and correct the mistakes. What can also be done is to just walk off giving a polite excuse, if the boss flings, arrows of humiliation and sarcasm towards you. That excuse to walk off could be anything – a cup of coffee, the washroom and so on. This gives you as well as your boss a chance to unwind and cool down. Agreed that the boss is bully. But the thing to reckon is how did your boss get to that stature and what can you learn from your boss (who cares even if you do not!). Finally, just be frank and confront your boss about his bullying behavior. But wait, do not approach him when he is in a bad mood. Wait for the right time and talk to him.

That was it! I hope I have given you enough grub about how to deal with bullies everywhere! Whatever happens, keep cool and do not compromise on your self esteem, is the golden real in implementing how to deal with a bully. Take a cue from the classic, Godfather by Mario Puzo - never ever let anyone know, not even a hint, about what all is going in your mind. Get out of this rut called bullying, by adhering to this trick!

Now I better sign off, I do not want to bully you with a truckload of words!