How to Control Anger and Stress

Well I guess it isn't possible to completely eradicate stress from our lives. I mean, you'd be pretty hard pressed to find someone who has achieved that level of mental peace where he cannot feel stress any more! But it is essential and possible to know how to control anger and irritation. Controlling and managing anger for stress relief, is the best a person can do and yes, it is possible!

Anger and Stress in Life

Before I start, it may be pertinent to understand the reason behind anger and stress. Why do we get stressed? Human life, like any other life form is filled with responsibilities. Each one has to do a set of things to survive. The basic animal needs are all the same. Food, shelter and companionship. Humans have the additional need for clothing. But the set of needs are more or less the same and the resources are limited. Hence, a person has to work hard in life to get all that he needs. And then there is all those additional items which a person desires, but doesn't really need. Such as gold jewelry, jazzy bathroom fittings and fancy cars. The need and desire for all this is just fine. But when a person doesn't get these, he gets stressed.

An outburst of stress may be termed as anger. A person gets angry when the level of stress becomes too much for him to take. Think of the human body as a pressure cooker. When the pressure goes beyond what the cooker can take, it needs to let out some of the steam. But we all know the ill effects of anger and stress on the body. Anger and stress lead to medical conditions like high blood pressure etc. Besides, there is nothing to gain from the anger. It's not that a show of anger will take the stress away. Hence, it is in your best interest that you rein in your anger.

I'm not sure if excessive anger and stress are hereditary. But if a person has a problem with anger, we can see quite often that this trait is passed on to the offspring. But it may not necessarily be genetic. It could simply be a learned trait which the child learned from watching his parents. Hence, it is very important to learn how to control anger with kids.

Ways to Control Anger

Now this one is coming from someone who's had anger problems for a while now - me, so I know which anger management methods really work and which of them just end up making you more angry.

• Understand the Problem: The first step to fix any problem is to understand that you have one. If you are able to accept the fact that you have anger issues, you will be able to address them. If you do not believe that you have problems with anger, then the whole anger management will be a futile exercise.
• Physical Activity: Anger is like one of those things which turns potential energy into kinetic energy. So you might as well use the kinetic energy for a good cause. I, personally have found working out when I'm angry very therapeutic. Why? Because, it gives an outlet to my anger and the mental and physical fatigue I feel after a workout, really drains out all the energy it takes to be angry. Cardio workouts especially, are the best as you are protected from any injury that carrying more weights than you can out of spite would cause. And you do your body a bit of good too!
• Deep Breathing: Now you can't always run to the gym the moment you get angry. So the first thing to do is sit down and take a few deep breaths. Chanting some words repeatedly works too. The key here is to concentrate on something other than the thing which is making you angry. Deep breathing or chanting or meditation will only work if these activities are able to take your mind off the enraging situation.
• Do Something You Like: Another very good way to suppress anger outbursts is to do some activity which you enjoy doing and which calms you down. For me, its listening to music and trying to juggle a football. I find these activities can cool me off very effectively. But each person has his own activity. What works for me may not necessarily work for you.
• Scale Down: People may view this as a step backwards, but since stress and anger are taking you multiple steps backwards, this may still be a better thing to do. You need to scale down your levels of expectation. As I said before, people get stressed when they are not able to achieve what they want. Maybe 'what you want' is beyond your capabilities, so there is no point in trying to achieve it and then getting angry when you can't. So understand that some things aren't possible and stop trying to achieve them.

Remember, anger and stress benefits you in no way. So it is better to suppress and control it.