How to Build a Healthy Relationship

Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~ Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859.

Isn't this the kind of comfort you seek, when you are with your loved one? I think 'not to measure words' is something what everyone desires in a relationship. But those words are exactly the reason for many a misunderstandings and the eventual distance in a relationship. This comfort is pretty hard to evolve. Healthy relationships require nurturing from the beginning. You have to understand the mutual love. It is not as simple as it sounds. Due to our own imperfections, an unhealthy relationship leads to lack of communication, intimacy, constant disagreements, criticism, and negligence of each other. How can this situation be improved? In this article, I will provide you with some tip to build a healthy relationship.

Tips on How to Build a Healthy Relationship

Respect your Partner
The most important aspect I have observed in most relationships is that the initial respect makes way for the feeling of 'taken for granted' eventually. Do not let this happen! You need to have mutual respect for one another, for each others choices and opinions and for each other's friends and family. If you want your partner to respect you, make sure you are respecting him/her and yourself as well. Understand that both of you are imperfect, trying to build a healthy relationship. So, respect those imperfections and deal with them with patience.

Express your Love
Robert Brault has said, "For lack of an occasional expression of love, a relationship strong at the seams can wear thin in the middle." You should show your love once in a while. Remember the time of the proposal. How happy you both were! Love was in the air. What is the hitch in continuing with that for the rest of your life? You should express your love occasionally to let that person feel special, simply because love is the first pillar of building a healthy relationship.

Share and Communicate
It is extremely essential that you share your happiness, dreams and aspirations with each other to make the other person feel cared for and important. Let there be a two-way communication. Being a good listener is the key to any bond. Empathize with the feelings of each other, only then you will be able to understand the pain and joy of the other person. Do not only share the happiness, keeping the sorrows to yourself. Let me tell you, more than the happy moments, it is the sharing of sad moments, which strengthens your relationship. As Dinah Shore had said, "Trouble is part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you, enough chance to love you enough."

Passion, Intimacy and Commitment
Somehow, these three aspects of a relationship are related to one another, which is linked so perfectly by Robert Sternberg, when he said, "Passion is the quickest to develop, and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still." You have to understand that commitment develops from passion and intimacy. Physical intimacy is a natural progression for a couple, who are passionately in love with each other. Make sure your partner feels attractive and wanted physically. Regular sex life is an indicator of your fortifying commitment.

Forgive and Trust
Emily Kimbrough quoted, "Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it is a comfort to go hand in hand." Even if your partner commits any mistake, be forgiving. Remember, you can stumble as well. It is at this weak moment that he/she needs your support. Be the comfortable shadow your partner really deserves. Also, being trustworthy yourself and trusting your partner is one of the most important tips to build a healthy relationship. Let the trust remain, only then you can retain your individual identities and have your space to feel independent, while being committed.

These tips on how to build a healthy relationship can help you in attaining the feeling of 'shelter', when you speak with your partner. But, at the end of the day, it is your interpretation and application that counts in making your relationship healthy. I will sign off with an excellent quote from Barbara de Angelis, which describes the essence of a healthy relationship comprehensively, "The more connections you and your lover make, not just between your bodies, but between your minds, your hearts, and your souls, the more you will strengthen the fabric of your relationship, and the more real moments you will experience together."