How to be Witty

True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing, so said Socrates. You may know nothing, but using your existing brainpower effectively will make you witty. Being witty is all about using your intelligence to make an indelible impression on the crowd. It's about saying the right thing at the right time and especially at the right place. One incorrectly placed witty remark and you'll lose the ground forever. To be witty, you will need to know the snappy famous one liners and the subtlety with which you need to retort. You also need to know when your listener is not understanding your wittiness, otherwise you may get labeled as an insensitive snob.

Being Witty and Funny

Being a Listener
Effective listening skills go a long way in making you the wittiest of them all! If you listen with a keen ear, you'd be in a better position for making powerful comebacks. Like I remember this guy (a complete stranger and a secret admirer!!) who asked me, my name. I replied, 'Your Worst Nightmare', to which his comeback was 'Baby, I am the Devil. Nightmares are my sweetest dreams!!' It's slightly cheesy and didn't work (for me), but you've got to give this guy due credit for coming up with an unforgettable rejoinder.

Judging the Mood
You've got to know the mood of the person and the situation. You definitely can't be witty at someone's funeral, no matter how much you hate the dead person. So, you can use your wit in casual conversations with your friends, amongst colleagues and in jocund family gatherings. Using funny witty short sayings, at such occasions, (obviously at the right time) is the best way of casting a good impression.

Language Skills
You will have to be well versed with one liners and catchy phrases. Pun, a simple figure of speech we learned way back in school, will be of great use now. With an artistic play of words and with continuous practice of the same, you will grow better and better at being witty.

No Offense Meant
Your wittiness can be taken as an offense by somebody. There is a fine but distinct line between being witty and being offensive. As the adage goes, 'think twice, before you speak', trust me, you really need to. You need to work on your voice modulation and intonation, while making witty retorts. Also, you need to know where to stop. If people around you aren't smiling, then you need to tell them, you meant no offense in a polite manner and stop your act.

Generate Interest
To be witty, you need to be good at making (participative) conversations. Try your hand at a few conversation starters, to know how to start them in the first place. One trick that always works for starting conversations is to talk about movies or books, as you'll always find people who like either option or both. The person with whom you are making a conversation, should be interested in what you are saying. So, to be witty and funny, you need to be interesting too.

Trying too hard would only make you seem needy and attention seeking. So, these were a few tips to be witty and funny. I hope after all the time it took me to explain you this, you make some good use of it!! Let me know...