How Not to Write an Article

So you've decided on what you're gonna write. Yes, you are content with the content you have found. So what next? How do you go about writing your article? Well, this piece of writing will tell you exactly how not to write an article, so without wasting any more time, let's take a quick overview of a few basic follies that most people make.

LINK THE LINK

The English language is quite easy to decipher, as sometimes the words have very obvious meanings. The word 'link' means a logical connection. Note, logical and connection. So, when you link in your article, ensure that the link is relevant to what you are writing. Let me give you a very apt example of how not to go about linking:

Hibiscus flower petals are heart shaped, just like heart tattoos for women, which are very common in India (the hibiscus plant I mean). The leaves are small, just like small blisters on hands, while the stem is erect and as straight as hair treated by hair straightening shampoo. The roots spread out like a wedding budget spreadsheet, and are as brown as brown algae and are tall like a giraffe. Read more on how tall is the Eiffel tower.

Let alone read more, the next time a reader comes to your article, he won't read at all.

Also, even if your links are as disconnected as the thought process in Paris Hilton's brain, at least ensure that the link works. See how annoying it is when you are tempted to click on something only to realize that the link doesn't Goddammit work!

QUOTE UNQUOTE

A good way of starting an article is with a quote. Let's face it - it's easy to use, it sets the flow of the article and it doesn't even have to come from the top of your head! Plagiarism on a platter indeed. But as long as you give credit for it, it can't really qualify under the clauses of how not to write an article. But what really needs to be kept in mind is that the quote being used is valid and more importantly relevant to what you are writing.

For example: If you are writing a medical article on urine color or urination problems do not start the article with a quote like "Piss off" - Mike Tyson.

PERSONAL EXPERIENCES

Personal experiences are supposed to be just that - personal. But if you happen to miraculously have experienced what the article talks about, then you can always start off with it. Yet, at times it does sound a bit over the top, so take care to start with personal experiences only, like I've said before, it is very relevant.

Like, if by some strange coincidence, like Samit Basu would say, Lady luck was sitting at a gambling table alone because no one was willing to play with her, so she diverted her attention to you and granted you all the luck in the world, and you happen to have experienced the same thing, how do you go about it?

Firstly, be subtle. If you are writing on 'hamsters as pets', don't start with "OH MY GOD! I DON'T BELIEVE THIS! I MEAN, EVEN I HAVE A HAMSTER AS A PET! OH MY GOD! IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL!...." Please, you might just instigate the reader into thinking that getting a hamster as a pet leads to euphoric mental instability. Do not do that.

Also, a genuine advice is to be genuine. Only start with a personal experience if you have indeed been through it. While writing about cancer symptoms, don't start with "When I was diagnosed with cancer, I was simply crestfallen. I realized that I had cancer when I saw the following cancer symptoms..." Please avoid doing this. The last thing a real cancer patient needs is empathy from a fake cancer patient.

Also, all said and done, the writer may think that the reader will feel more attached or feel that the writer is suddenly more of an authority to write on this article if he or she starts with a personal experience but it is not so. The reader does not have so much time to think so much. He wants information, and he wants it fast.

So this was a small guide on how not to write an article. Hope it has been of help, though, if you have to take to such terrible pointers for guidance on content writing, then you can safely assume that you're already in big trouble.