How not to Meditate

Firstly I would like to make clear that much like the word God the word Meditation has, over the years, has become the subject of a great deal of negative connotation. People making assumption to what the act of meditation is based on what they've seen on film and television. People who fall victim to the countless number of misleading self help and spirituality books written by clueless, money hungry, self appointed gurus, all claiming to have a divine inner vision connecting them to the esoteric ether making them deserving of your hard earned dollars. For starters, rule of thumb, if anyone tells you that they can help you achieve enlightenment for a small fee of only yadda yadda yadda, they are going to do you more trouble than good.

Now to the meat and potatoes of it. meditation in its essence is the act of not acting, being without being. It is the ability to let go of all things material and worldly in exchange for illumination. Illumination comes in knowing that you know nothing, and are nothing.

Meditation is the absence of smell, sight, sound, taste, feeling and thought. Ergo, the thought that one must apply the use of certain incense, music, chanting, posture, vision, mantras, settings or anything else is in direct contradiction to what meditation is.

When you get caught up in the TREND of meditation spending your money on enlightenment music (laugh), nag champa, yoga mats and classes where a white guy in a turban tells you to sit like a pretzel and imagine a happy special place while chanting "om namanamnama" and giving him a 50 dollar "donation" each week the only thing you're getting closer to is your ego, and broke.

You don't need anything but yourself to meditate (not even) and mucking it up with gadgets and courses and preconceived notions of Nepal and Tibet and fancy hats with special hemp infused pant suits and chimes and chanting isn't going to get you anywhere.

Now I know that most of you, if you are interested in the subject, may have already tossed away a few dollars on books and courses and finger symbols and nature soundtracks and I'm sure that you might feel a little embarrassed but it's okay. I'm here to help.

How to meditate, free of charge and distraction. Here, it's this simple. You don't need a book, candles, or anything else and you certainly don't have to pay for it. Just sit still, close your eyes and breathe, that's it.

At first you are likely to have thoughts rushing through your head, half sung songs from the morning radio, grocery lists and the like, but that's okay, just accept that you live in a world full of distraction and go with it. Let the thoughts enter and exit in their own time because fighting them will only keep them longer. Detach.

Don't visualize anything, don't think, don't worry, just sit and breathe. Eventually you'll get it, trust me.

And that's all there is to it. No tricks, no complications and no ego. Just sit and breathe in whatever position you find most comfortable, not balled up on the floor like contortionist, sit on the couch, relax. I know you wish there was more to it but there isn't.

It may take a while, it may not, but once you have it you will be able to meditate in the street, on the phone, in front of the television or while having sex, especially while having sex.

And remember, anybody can do it on the mountains.

The Requiem
Illumination through Entertainment