How Not to Be Shy

I love this particular advertisement that I saw long time ago. A guy goes to the local ice cream shop with his niece everyday. He stats liking this girl who also comes everyday to the next shop. It is clear that the girl likes him but wants him to take the first step. But the boy is never able overcome his shyness. The next time he goes to the ice cream shop determined to propose the girl, he sees her standing there in a wedding dress, holding the arm of a man dressed in a wedding suit, obviously her groom.

The lesson that the advertisement is that it is important to react on time. True, we often miss opportunities because we are not able to make the right move at the right time. Although this advertisement stresses on lost love, shyness can cause one to lose out on opportunities related to one's career and other relationships. It is very important for us to know how not to be shy as the adage says Time and tide waits for none.

How Not to be Shy Around People

The following tips will surely help you to work out a way that would help you to figure out how to stop being shy around people.

Understand Your Shyness
Shyness often stems from either a negative experience early in one's life or due to lack of self-esteem and/or being too self-conscious. One also needs to understand if he is shy only with a particular person or with every stranger in general. Once you have diagnosed your shyness, it's time to work on it. It is important to understand that people are not out there to scrutinize you. Everyone wants to meet a nice person who is easy to go with and nice to talk to. It's OK if you don't impress everyone. After all, everyone is not the same.

Overcome Your Negative Self Perception
Nobody is perfect. May be you are not a good public speaker. But why do you forget that you dance just as well as the best speaker in your college speaks? Showcase your talent. Each one has some or the other positive quality that we in our brutal self assessment tend to overlook. Focus on your strengths as this will help you to have a better self-esteem.

Be Approachable
Nobody likes one with sour expression or a slouching posture. Improve your body language. You don't have to be the best looking guy or have your audience in splits all the time. Just be well dressed. Wear a quiet, confident smile and maintain eye contact. No one expects you to pronounce words of wisdom. Just look well at ease with yourself.

Practice
You must have heard Practice makes a man perfect. It might seem like stepping right into the problem but there is nothing better than taking the bull by the horn. Go out to your friends' parties or to social gatherings. Talk to people. The initial experiences may not be good but this will give you enough scope to practice taking your mind off yourself. Ask your friends to introduce you to their friends. This would be a nice beginning as talking to a common friend may take the pressure of communicating with strangers off you. If it is the fear of public speaking, get a friend and ask him to listen to you as you speak.

How Not to be Shy with Members of the Opposite Sex

In case it is about talking to that member of the opposite gender, there are certain myths that need to be busted. Ladies, it's true that looks do matter for guys. But in case you want to be seen around with a sensible guy, be sure to show your brains behind that beautiful face. Portray your self-confidence. Show him that you know where you next step is going to be. A confident woman who knows her mind is the biggest turn-on for most guys. However, just don't use it as an excuse to take your dressing department for granted.

The same approach would work for men as well. However, guys must I remind you about the legendary liking that women have for words (not your words dear, the words that they must speak? On a serious note, let your girl express herself. Be patient with her and the most important act that would help you win her trust is to LISTEN to her speak. It always helps to know some conversation starters. However, if you want to go out on a date and are wondering how not to be shy around girls then start by approaching girls who are in the same club as you. At least this would give you common topics to talk on. Ask some basic questions about her interests and let her continue with the conversation. Forget about what people think of you. Just concentrate on the person you are with.

For girls who are wondering how to overcome shyness around guys just remember that a lot goes beyond looks both for you as well as the guy. Even if it is you that who has approached this guy, remember that even he wants to make a good impression on you. So just be yourself and don't let the thought of how not to be shy around guys bother you. Just as it goes with guys, even you girls could initiate steps to overcome shyness by approaching guys in your school who you think you would be comfortable with. Think of general fun questions to ask a guy. There are numerous options available as far as conversation starters with a guy is concerned and there are always people around who would not mind a casual talk and some good acquaintance.

For those who want to know how not to be shy it is important to remember that it is not possible to please everyone and appear smart all the time. No one has ever achieved absolute perfectionism and believe me that absolutely perfect people are boring as well.