How Men Show Love

It seems somewhat inappropriate for a member of the opposite sex to write about how men show love, seeing as more often that not, we women, are baffled by the vagaries of the male mind. Just as they don't really get us, we, well, we struggle to get them too, and no matter how many self help books we read, we're still taken aback by the mind of the man, such as it is. We dissect, look for tones, discuss the exact wording and the intonation, and men? Men just high-five. As a rule, women are more expressive, more open and easier to read, but then as a woman myself, I might be a tad biased. Having said that though, it's also easy to understand why there exists confusion about men and relationships since brain wise, and in every other way that counts, I guess the sexes are wired differently. So this is my somewhat self-learned take on how men show love in the myriad ways they do. Correct me if you must.

How to Know He Loves You

This is a somewhat difficult one to explain, since I'm more the kind to look for the signs that declare attachment, rather than just believe the words. Of the relationships I've been in, and they've all been good up to a point, I never struggled to understand the how's and the why's and the wherefore's - but found, that cliched as it is, actions do speak louder than words (pathetic, I know). As a prelude to the beginning of a relationship, when feelings of attraction make themselves felt, and the world seems suddenly brighter, sharper and more in focus, I'd reckon guys aren't too difficult to read. Most seem to favor the direct approach, and will tell you straight out - nine times out of ten, and I have this on reliable male authority, if he makes the effort, to talk, to text, to meet up - he's in, they're all signs he's into you. If he doesn't, well, let's just say that ship has sailed. As women, we tend to look for deeper meanings, hidden messages, unspoken words, and that's where we go wrong - that's how we think. Men, on the other hand, favor the upfront approach - they'll work up the courage and do the deed, trust me, you don't have to think about what to say to a guy you like, he'll come up with the words himself, and isn't that a treat?

Once you're in a relationship however, there may be simpler ways to see how he expresses or shows his love. Perhaps he takes the time out to do things he knows you like - maybe he wakes you up with a cup of coffee made just right, maybe you find the movie you've looked everywhere for lying on the DVD player, maybe your iPod finds itself updated every few days. Imaginably, he plans a surprise vacation, in a place that's perfect as far as you're concerned, maybe he takes the time to take you to a movie he wouldn't be caught dead watching, or to take you home when it's late, even if it means he gets that much less sleep. If these aren't signs that he loves you, I don't know what are. I may not be an authority on how men think about love, but I'd say these seem fair reason to be optimistic.

It's unfortunate that life sometimes becomes the pursuit of more, rather than the contentment of the given. When rocky patches come, and relationship issues rear their ugly heads, you're likely to think of all the things he didn't do, instead of all the things he did. It's amazing how easy it becomes to remember the times he didn't make it on time, in place of the hours he waited - the plans that didn't materialize, in place of the surprises that did. And you struggle to understand how men express love, when all that time, it's staring you in the face.

You know, I'm not an authority on relationship issues, or men for that matter. I'm not clairvoyant, psychic, particularly good at relationships, or a mind reader and I certainly don't have a track record that qualifies me to give relationship advice. For the most part, I don't get men at all, and my single status underlines that more than anything else might. But I can tell you, from personal experience of a not unscathed heart, how men show love - I've seen it first hand.