How Men Really Feel About the First Date

Dating can seem like a fairly difficult process. There’s always the issue of trying to make sure we impress the other person while still being ourselves and not turning them off. This can seem awfully difficult at times, and for women it can be even harder because quite a few of them don’t seem to know what a guy really wants. How do you attract a guy? What’s the best way to impress him and make sure you don’t frighten him away? Do men prefer cheap thrills or a classy, confident girl more? There are more ideas and misconceptions about men and dating that it can actually make it seem like a very big and scary thing. Fortunately though, this isn’t the case at all. Real dating is actually a lot simpler than it can seem, and it’s a very fun and enjoyable process as long as you know what you’re doing!

Dating can be a complicated process, but to simplify things, I break it all down into two categories: Long-term dating, and short-term dating. Long term consists of the bulk of the relationship, once the two of you know each other pretty well and become more dedicated to each other and start a real relationship. Short term refers to that beginning period of four or more dates where you’re still getting to know each other, and you’re trying to "catch" them. This time period can be extremely important – first impressions are key, and often decide whether or not you’ll make it the long term part. Because of this pressure, there seem to arise certain issues for women that stem from a lack of understanding of the opposite sex and how they view things. How you go about handling these is an important matter – first impressions make up the bulk of how we perceive a person. I’m going to go into a few of these issues, and give you some insight on how we men really feel about them.

Eating. This is typically the least significant of all issues, but many girls are nervous when it comes to eating in front of a guy. Most women feel like they are pressured to adhere to certain standards of beauty, and whereas you may love that thick Big Mac, it doesn’t really have a place in that. Many girls instead choose to take the rabbit route – if it isn’t green and leafy, they won’t touch it! They worry that eating normal food in front of a guy will give him some sort of negative vibe. Is this true?

Not even close. Remember this: This guy is already attracted to you enough to want to go out on a date with you. He already likes the way you look! If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be sitting in front of you, now would he? It doesn’t matter to him how you look the way you look. If you eat salads and do jumping jacks all day long or munch on potato chips, it makes no difference to him. The bottom line is he’s attracted to you. What’s more important is to realize that, on a date, a guy just wants to be comfortable and have fun. Want to know the best way to achieve this? Make sure you yourself are having a good time. Do the things you’re comfortable with and enjoy. If you do so, he’ll be enjoying his time with you, and that’s what he’s going to remember about you – not what you ate.

Next up is dress. This topic is much, much larger, and especially important with younger girls. They oftentimes wonder if a guy will find them attractive on a date if they don’t wear provocative clothing or show off a lot of skin, more than they normally would. They take note of the fact that men find the female body attractive, and assume that the more they show the more attractive men must find them. But is this actually what a guy thinks?

Actually, no. It’s undeniable that men do have a fascination to the female body. The thing is, however, that that doesn’t mean they are only attracted to skimpy clothes. Have you ever wondered if strippers had great, dependable men who cared deeply about them? I sincerely hope not. Come on, if they did, would they be on their current career path? Guys might like looking at things like that every now and then, but it’s not what we’re looking for in a girl. You can get a guy interested in your body and still maintain respect for you at the same time, and you have to have that if you want to keep him interested. How? Confidence. To men, confidence is equal to sexiness, and we just can’t help but fall for girls who like themselves and respect themselves. Skimpy clothes convey the opposite message. That’s not to say you can’t dress fun – just don’t look cheap. You’d probably be surprised at how many guys think a nice fitting t-shirt is as sexy as it gets, and while others are looking for a more polished girl, this can be done just as easily and all really depends on your own personal taste. Just remember that a guy wants a girl who likes what she’s got, so find that outfit that looks nice, compliments your body, but isn’t going to look trashy.

Conversation. This can be tricky. There are two giant bottomless holes you can fall into. One is called "Awkward silence" and the other one "Overbearing and flaky." They’re positioned right next to each other, and there is a narrow strip of land between them that you want to walk. It’s not often that two people meet each other and are instantly connected, and the conversation falls like rain. When two people first meet, and especially when they go on a first date, it can be slightly tense. Usually one or both parties are nervous or worried about impressing the other, and natural conversation suffers. This is a problem, because the best way to get someone to like you and open up to you is to get them talking to you. If you can get natural conversation flowing, you’ve done a great thing. The problem is that it’s easier for one of the other situations to happen. Either you have those periods of awkward silence with breaks of conversation, or possibly worse, you try to bring things up and speak just for the sake of speaking and can come across as trying too hard, uncomfortable, and nervous. This is only going to make the other person uncomfortable – hence why I refer to these as bottomless pits. How do you solve it?

Just make sure to get him talking! And the fortunate part about this is that, with a little bit of thought put into it, it’s very easy. Just stop for a moment and think about the way we humans are naturally. – We all enjoy talking about things that interest us. Our pastimes, our hobbies, the things we do in our spare time or the things we are passionate about. The most effective way to get a person to talk to you is to start up a conversation about something they’re interested in! There’s a trick to this though, as you have to make sure you do this completely naturally. You have to seem like you’re at least interested in learning about the topic. Let’s say you’re on a date with a man who plays football. Asking him the question, "So, uh, you play football, don’t you?" is going to sound a bit forced or uninterested. He’s a football player, so obviously he really enjoys playing it! – Once you can get him to really start talking about it, you’ll have him in the palm of your hand! Ask him how long he’s been playing football, or how he got into it! Sound genuine in your questions! Now this is a double-punch for you, as not only are you getting him to happily and excitedly talking, you’re also learning a lot more about him to talk about in the future. If a man is opening up to you and talking to you about the things he’s enjoying, he’s going to have a good time, and come to respect you as a good listener.

We guys really do catch a pretty nasty reputation at times. The majority of us are not out looking for a one-night stand or a vapid trophy girl to hang off our arm. We want from a date exactly what a girl wants. – A fun time with a girl we feel comfortable around. And in a relationship we want a friend that we can open up to and share things with, sometime to enjoy our time with and someone that we respect and value as their own person. So on your first date, don’t worry about ordering the pizza or the greasy food, and don’t feel like you have to dress like a street walker to attract him. And make sure to keep the conversation going! There’s not a lot to having a good time on a first date, so just be confident and have a great time!