How Long Is Forever? Part 3/3 Of Chapter 1
Destiney West is a 17 year old girl living in Providence, Rhode Island with her Mother, 6 year old sister Serena, and 10 month old baby brother Caleb. This is the story of Destiney and Noel, a different kind of love story. It's also about life and family. Theme song is Falling for you by Morgan Page and By your side (Neptunes Remix) by Sade.
"I put Serena and Caleb to bed already" I pulled a seat next to my mom in the dining room. I was in pajamas and bunny slippers and it was already 10:15. Papers and bills were scattered all over the glass table in front of her. She was working on her wedding stuff again, that was my mom alright, working 24/7. I guess she was that way because she didn't want us to think that just because Dad wasn't here and she was alone that she couldn't support us.
"Thank you Destiney..I'm sorry about this morning. I truly don't know what I would do without you." she held my hand and looked at me with tired eyes and smiled.
"Mom you have to stop leaving Caleb alone in the morning like that, what if I didn't wake up in time or what if he fell off his crib?"
"I know...I'm sorry, I was in a rush. I just thought that since he usually wakes up around 8, you'd be awake by then."
"You know that I have a late start on Wednesdays ma...he was already awake by the time I woke up..something could've happened to him." Mom didn't say anything.
"Ok, I know, I'm sorry. I forgot about your late start today, but I promise not to do it again without at least letting you know."
"Mom..."
"Yes, honey?" she looked at me with that look in her eyes. The wrinkles on the edges of her eyes made her look stressed and tired. She looked at me like she really appreciated that I was there.
"Nothing..." I wanted to tell her that she didn't need to be this way...always working the way she did. sometimes I'd find her asleep at night on the couch with her work clothes still on. We were fine, just fine. but I do remember how Dad left...it was raining that day, i remember because I was walking home from Beth's house that day and I was soaking wet when I got home and I was trying not to get caught by my parents but then I saw the suitcases my Dad usually took on business trips sitting there in the hallway. It was pretty bizarre, it wasn't like the usual screaming and cussing at each other. It was more like an understanding...like they knew this was going to happen because I never saw my mother cry or hold him back. i ran up the stairs and heard their muffles through the crack of their bedroom door.
I stood there for a while, breathing hard and soaking wet. I felt my face getting hot and my eyes getting blurry. Minutes later, my dad walks out of the room and we're face to face with each other with that sad look on his face..I just lost it from there.
"Are...are...are you...leaving?!" I stood there sobbing hysterically like something just came over me, I was never usually very emotional about things. I felt cold inside and out.
"It's time Destiney...you may not understand why...but someday you will." he practically muttered. I saw my mother behind him looking down with a sad look.
"It's time?! Time for what?!" I was a wreck. I held my hand to my face and shook my head. The tears tasted of salt in my mouth and his face had the look of hurt.
"I love you, i hope you know that..I will always love you." he looked at me through glass eyes, like there was nothing he could do even though he knew it hurt.
"Come on Rick, your taxi is here." My mother gently tugged at his shoulders and beckoned him to walk down the stairs. And that's when I went crazy.
"And you!!! you're supposed to be his wife!! How can you just tell him to leave?!! ....you're heartless....dad's leaving and you don't even care.." I looked at them both as they looked back at me with terrible expressions on their faces. When he was finally in the driveway, I watched him leave through my curtains. He turned to face my mom before getting into the taxi, he said something to her but I couldn't quite make them out.
What's worse about that whole thing was that dad doesn't even know he has a son now. We found out mom was pregnant a week after dad left us. She decided not to tell him because she didn't feel it was necessary. I always have wondered where he went...to this day my mom has never told me why he left us or where he is now. The time she was pregnant with Caleb was really hard for her. I had to be there for her 24/7, there were times where i knew she was frustrated, lonely, or in pain. And my heart felt so heavy for her but at the same time i questioned myself, why is she letting herself go through this alone as if splitting up with dad was something she had to do? I mean I know that she truly loved him. She showed me those scrapbooks, pictures, and notes she and dad shared together when they met in college. And I remember one day when mom was at work I had decided to check it again...just to see if she still loved him.
I walked slowly to their room and when I got there, I twisted the knob slowly. When I went in though, it looked empty. The room still had its old furniture but for some reason, it felt so empty. I went over to the bed, watching my shadows as I stepped where the sunrays were hitting the floor through the windows. It was kind of blinding because it made the bed glow, all pillows and blankets were pure white. I ran my fingers over the fluffy white comforter...feeling the fabric slide beneath my fingers. Dad never like anything all white or too white but my mother loved the color. In their whole marriage, I never saw mom put all white sheets before, it was always colorful because that's the way dad liked it. I looked at the whole bed, and something about it was so heart-breaking..I remember she kept the box of letters and pictures in a beautiful marble box carved with angels on it so when i saw it sitting there on her dresser, my heart did a little leap. I slowly lifted the latch and opened the lid..but inside, it was empty. And the scrapbook that used to be stacked on top of our baby picture albums was nowhere to be found.
This time, I knew dad was gone forever... And as I waited, I wondered...how long is forever?
"Thank you Destiney..I'm sorry about this morning. I truly don't know what I would do without you." she held my hand and looked at me with tired eyes and smiled.
"Mom you have to stop leaving Caleb alone in the morning like that, what if I didn't wake up in time or what if he fell off his crib?"
"I know...I'm sorry, I was in a rush. I just thought that since he usually wakes up around 8, you'd be awake by then."
"You know that I have a late start on Wednesdays ma...he was already awake by the time I woke up..something could've happened to him." Mom didn't say anything.
"Ok, I know, I'm sorry. I forgot about your late start today, but I promise not to do it again without at least letting you know."
"Mom..."
"Yes, honey?" she looked at me with that look in her eyes. The wrinkles on the edges of her eyes made her look stressed and tired. She looked at me like she really appreciated that I was there.
"Nothing..." I wanted to tell her that she didn't need to be this way...always working the way she did. sometimes I'd find her asleep at night on the couch with her work clothes still on. We were fine, just fine. but I do remember how Dad left...it was raining that day, i remember because I was walking home from Beth's house that day and I was soaking wet when I got home and I was trying not to get caught by my parents but then I saw the suitcases my Dad usually took on business trips sitting there in the hallway. It was pretty bizarre, it wasn't like the usual screaming and cussing at each other. It was more like an understanding...like they knew this was going to happen because I never saw my mother cry or hold him back. i ran up the stairs and heard their muffles through the crack of their bedroom door.
I stood there for a while, breathing hard and soaking wet. I felt my face getting hot and my eyes getting blurry. Minutes later, my dad walks out of the room and we're face to face with each other with that sad look on his face..I just lost it from there.
"Are...are...are you...leaving?!" I stood there sobbing hysterically like something just came over me, I was never usually very emotional about things. I felt cold inside and out.
"It's time Destiney...you may not understand why...but someday you will." he practically muttered. I saw my mother behind him looking down with a sad look.
"It's time?! Time for what?!" I was a wreck. I held my hand to my face and shook my head. The tears tasted of salt in my mouth and his face had the look of hurt.
"I love you, i hope you know that..I will always love you." he looked at me through glass eyes, like there was nothing he could do even though he knew it hurt.
"Come on Rick, your taxi is here." My mother gently tugged at his shoulders and beckoned him to walk down the stairs. And that's when I went crazy.
"And you!!! you're supposed to be his wife!! How can you just tell him to leave?!! ....you're heartless....dad's leaving and you don't even care.." I looked at them both as they looked back at me with terrible expressions on their faces. When he was finally in the driveway, I watched him leave through my curtains. He turned to face my mom before getting into the taxi, he said something to her but I couldn't quite make them out.
What's worse about that whole thing was that dad doesn't even know he has a son now. We found out mom was pregnant a week after dad left us. She decided not to tell him because she didn't feel it was necessary. I always have wondered where he went...to this day my mom has never told me why he left us or where he is now. The time she was pregnant with Caleb was really hard for her. I had to be there for her 24/7, there were times where i knew she was frustrated, lonely, or in pain. And my heart felt so heavy for her but at the same time i questioned myself, why is she letting herself go through this alone as if splitting up with dad was something she had to do? I mean I know that she truly loved him. She showed me those scrapbooks, pictures, and notes she and dad shared together when they met in college. And I remember one day when mom was at work I had decided to check it again...just to see if she still loved him.
I walked slowly to their room and when I got there, I twisted the knob slowly. When I went in though, it looked empty. The room still had its old furniture but for some reason, it felt so empty. I went over to the bed, watching my shadows as I stepped where the sunrays were hitting the floor through the windows. It was kind of blinding because it made the bed glow, all pillows and blankets were pure white. I ran my fingers over the fluffy white comforter...feeling the fabric slide beneath my fingers. Dad never like anything all white or too white but my mother loved the color. In their whole marriage, I never saw mom put all white sheets before, it was always colorful because that's the way dad liked it. I looked at the whole bed, and something about it was so heart-breaking..I remember she kept the box of letters and pictures in a beautiful marble box carved with angels on it so when i saw it sitting there on her dresser, my heart did a little leap. I slowly lifted the latch and opened the lid..but inside, it was empty. And the scrapbook that used to be stacked on top of our baby picture albums was nowhere to be found.
This time, I knew dad was gone forever... And as I waited, I wondered...how long is forever?
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