How Long is Forever? Part 1/3 of Chapter 8

Ok just do it. Do it. I thought to myself with phone in hand. I was sitting in front of my window in my bedroom, trying to calm my nervousness that was now working its way into my sweaty palms. I had been eying the panels for a few days now, taking in its sudden ugliness that for some reason, a thought had occurred to me. And then, my mind being the way that it was, had cooked up a crazy plan, or so I thought, but my instincts didn't think it was crazy. So weird.

"Honey those panels are looking-" Mom started that morning.

"Mom, don't worry about it, it's under my wing, I've got someone in mind to do it." I held both hands up as if I were surrendering to something, only I didn't know what.

And so I was there, feeling as if something came over me but at the same time feeling as if this worked out just quite right. I recall Noel giving me his number before dropping me off at the mansion in Newport, telling me to call whenever I was in a crisis, or needed help with Caleb's diaper duty as he smiled at me. "Ha, ha." I said to him as he drummed his fingers on his steering wheel. And so, I went down on the list of contacts on my phone until I finally got to what I was looking for, closing my eyes then putting the phone to my ear as I pressed the call button. Riiiing, riiing, riiing. No answer. Shoot. But then, at 11:14 that night, as I lied in bed, staring up at the ceiling with hands clasped on top of my stomach, I suddenly heard a vibrating noise coming from my nightstand. I extended my arm to my left, not looking up from my ceiling until I blocked the view, holding the phone in front of my face as it vibrated. I flipped the phone open, my heart thudding against my ribcage.

"Hello?" I said hesitantly.

"Destiney?" A smooth but deep voice as always came from the other line.

"Yea..hi.."

"It says I missed your call...so what is it? Does Caleb need his diaper changed? Huggies or pampers? Choose one."

"I'd go with pampers, but I need help with something else, much bigger than changing Caleb's stinky diapers." I felt myself smile a little.

"Ah..well, what could it be?" He asked.

"I need help." I got up from my bed and walked over to my window, pushing the curtain just a crack so I could see the panels. Surely, they were there, glowing in the hint of midnight blue as the moon shined down against it. "Painting the panels on my front porch." Just then, I heard a bark in the background.

"Glad to, only I don't exactly know where your habitat is."

"Yea, I didn't know where you lived either. But then, I saw your "Old memories, young hopes" which I might add by the way, is really catchy, painting at the art center down by Chastity street. You should have told me you lived here in Providence." I said, now walking back to my bed, folding my legs against one another, meditation style, as I looked out across the street through the window out at the moon and the stars.

He laughed a little, which I might add, was kind of cute, the way it sounded, I mean. What the hell am I thinking? I thought, pushing the thought aside. After our conversation, we had agreed to meet at the arts center the next day to show him the panels.

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The sun was warm against my back as I sat on the big structured model in front of the arts center, waiting for Noel. Suddenly, I saw a red 1965 Chevy Impala pull up on a parking spot in the big open parking lot. I shaded my eyes with my hand, watching him climb out of the vehicle as if it was in slow motion, and suddenly, he became familiar to me again, this boy I had met in Newport. He saw me and slowly walked to where I was, arms swinging at his side, his tattoo appearing and disappearing as his sleeves rode up and down his shoulders. Pushing his hair out of his eyes, I saw those green eyes yet again. He squinted in the sun, casting off this mysterious aura as his body slowly reached me, all I could hear was my heart beating in my ears as I swallowed, feeling flushed for a moment.

"Hey." He finally said once he was 12 inches away from me, sliding his hands in the pocket of his jeans, the chain hanging from them swaying gently. The left side of his lips curved into a smile revealing a faint dimple as I breathed in and out before greeting him too.

"Hi.." He crouched down on the metal surface so he was in level with me and sat down, laying his arms out on top of his knees as he clasped his hands. As I looked closely though, I saw that there was also a very tiny tattoo on the back of his hand, just underneath or next to where his thumb and index finger separated. As I studied it closely without leaning in or making it obvious, I saw that it was an N and an S, looped together, making them connect.

"I chose yellow for the panels, what do you think?" I looked over at him, my hands on my toes, feeling my hair blow the way I was facing.

"It's good, well, if you like brightness, what are you trying to aim for?" He turned to me, eyes still squinting in the sun. I smiled at this.

"Well do I seem at all like a bubbly person?" I asked, still not looking away from him. I could hear cars whooshing past us, the warmness making me feel numb, but something about sitting near the cement with Noel here on a Saturday made it all worthwhile to withstand. "Like if you were to see me somewhere, and you had to guess my favorite color, would you say that the sight of me just practically screams yellow?"

He looked down, chuckling and then looking up on the road in front of us. "It was kind of hard to tell what kind of color you'd like in Newport, it was all dark that I think you'd be more about black...can you picture it? Your panels black? How about that?"

"Oh yea, definitely, black is the color. My Mom so totally wouldn't go haywire just stepping out onto the front porch to find herself in front of dead black panels and fences." I said, resting my palms on the warm metal on the model.

"I don't know...you'd be more like a...honey color. Yea, that's it, the color of honey."

"The color of honey?" I looked at him while he nodded at this. "Huh. I don't think they have a color like that in paint, unless you're looking to gloss any floors, may I ask why?"

He sighed then looked down before looking at me again as he pushed his hair out of his eyes, striking me again with the green eyes even more, for some reason as he did this, I felt my stomach do a flip flop, for just a second. But a second I was sure had happened. "Well for one thing, your hair is the color of brown, which turns into the color of honey when the sun hits it, also with your eyes. Then you've got your siblings, you try so hard to protect them...just like honey blends in with tea to protect a person's taste buds from bitterness or blandness." I had to admit, I found the second one a bit funny, but strangely making sense. "Honey comes from bees and they associate with the color yellow often, their bodies, their hives, even honeycombs. You happened to choose yellow, so I think that counts for something." I found myself speechless after that.

"I think I got more than an answer." I said, looking over at him, and for a moment, we just sat there, eyes drawn to each other before I got up. "Come on, I'll show you our panels."

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I was in the passenger seat of Noel's car, trying my best to sit on the far right. Because, in the back seat of his car, was a golden retriever by the name of Lucky, the size of a pillow. Which, he did not even warn me.

"You ok there?" He asked, looking back at my unease face then back at the road.

"Yea, yea...splendid." I nodded, forcing a smile upon him. I don't know what it was that made me itch about dogs. Maybe it was the fact that I had been chased by one at the park when I was 8? Or maybe the fact that it bit me, which in result, my Dad had to take me to the ER where they put antibiotics on my ankle and wrapped it with medical cast cloth hours later? Further more leaving me traumatized for the rest of my life? Needless to say, I was not a dog person. I looked back as it sat there in the backseat, looking at me with those eyes.

"He's like family to me...he goes with me everywhere." Noel suddenly said.

"Who? Lucky?" I said, looking back at the dog.

"...Yea.." He smiled, with that look in his eyes, as if he was dating back to a favorite memory and he'd suddenly remembered it just by talking about Lucky. "He helped me actually...stuck with me through tough times, especially my parents."

"Well you're lucky then." I finally said, my eyes on the road as well.

"I guess I am...why?" He asked, glancing at me.

"In rough times," I said, pushing the strands of hair that had blown over my face from his open widow out of my eyes, tucking them behind my ear. "You had something to hold on to."