Hilarious Sayings

When you have nothing to do and are getting bored to death, hilarious sayings can come to your rescue! Hilarious quotes are sure to make you laugh, and get you through that dull day! Funny hilarious quotes can also be used in greeting cards to give a personal touch to them.

Hilarious Sayings about Life

Here are some hilarious saying about life, that can not only brighten up you day, but can also add that bit of laughter to a frustrating day, either at home or office.

My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot. - Ashleigh Brilliant.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. - Woody Allen.

Nothing matters very much, and very few things matter at all. - Arthur Balfour.

Love is the history of a woman's life; it is an episode in man's. - Germaine De Stael.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Life is just a phase you're going through...you'll get over it. - Anonymous.

Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. - Samuel Butler.

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on. - Robert Bloch.

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it. - Charles Schulz.

Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life. - Anonymous.

Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets. - Arthur Miller.

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams.

Life's not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow. - Cherralea Morgen.

Life is a foreign language: all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley.

In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. - Kathy Norris.

There are people who so arrange their lives that they feed themselves only on side dishes. - José Ortega y Gasset.

As we struggle to make sense of things, life looks on in repose. - Anonymous.

There is only one immutable law in life - in a gentleman's toilet, incoming traffic has the right of way. - Hugh Leonard.

Hilarious Sayings about Relationships

And here are some funny sayings about relationships, which are bound to make you laugh your heart out.

When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry.

There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that. - Steve Martin.

Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter. - Cecilia Egan.

Maybe the most that you can expect from a relationship that goes bad is to come out of it with a few good songs. - Marianne Faithfull.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx.

In married life three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't. - Spike Milligan.

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher.

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. - Anonymous..

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. - Cathy Carlyle.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates.

The General was essentially a man of peace, except of course in his domestic affairs. - Oscar Wilde.

Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx.

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante.

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted. - Helen Rowland.

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name. - Joan Rivers.

You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty. - Anonymous.

The four most important words in any marriage...I'll do the dishes. - Anonymous..

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. - Brendan Francis.

Men aren't necessities, they're luxuries. - Cher.

These were some of the most hilarious sayings, hope you enjoyed them.