Hilarious Quotes and Sayings

When there is nothing to do and you are bored to death, one of the best things to do is read up on some hilarious quotes. Funny quotes and sayings, whether they are about life, love or relationships, always manage to put a smile to our face. So given below are a few such really funny sayings that are bound to have you in splits!

Funny Sayings About Life

In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. - Kathy Norris

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired. - R. Geis

Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination - Christopher Isherwood

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. - Woody Allen

Life is just a phase you're going through...you'll get over it. - Anonymous

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. - Anonymous

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams

Life...is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast. - Douglas Adams

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it. - Charles Schulz

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. - Anonymous

Life is like a game of poker: If you don't put any in the pot, there won't be any to take out. - Moms Mabley

Funny Hilarious Quotes

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own. - Les Dawson

Nobody goes where the crowds are anymore. It's too crowded. - Yogi Berra

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others - John Kirinrich

Behind every successful man, there is a surprised woman. - Anonymous

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught. - Oscar Wilde

Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money. - Gary Bolding, during a graduation speech

Experience is the sinking feeling you have made this mistake before. - Anonymous

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name. - Joan Rivers

When I was a boy, the Dead sea was only sick. - George Burns

Short Hilarious Sayings

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. - Anonymous

No, I don't have a solution, but I certainly admire the problem. - Ashleigh Brilliant

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. - Anonymous

If at first you do not succeed, then skydiving is surely not meant for you. - Anonymous

The more I know about men, the more I admire dogs. - Anonymous

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on. - Robert Bloch

Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to. - Jay Leno

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. - W. C. Fields

It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it . - Anonymous

These were a few hilarious sayings that must have definitely brought a smile to your face. So, keep laughing because as they say, laughter is the best medicine!