Hidden Nature Pg. 2

I usually dream about you, Ralph.

She blushed at the thought. Trying not to be so attracted to the man was utterly impossible. Especially since she'd spied him by the lake this summer sitting by the bank without a shirt on. She didn't remember if she'd ever been with a man, but right then and there she knew that she'd never been quite so attracted to anyone before. But it was more than good looks. He had this mysterious, and strangely familiar and quiet way about him that drew her to his side whenever she could think of a good excuse for coming over. Tonight was unexpected. Her dreams were so vivid, yet so vague that she felt tortured all week long. She wished she could stay with him instead of sleeping by herself at night, afraid to fall asleep.

"No, you're not alright, you're barely standing. Come, sit down." He wrapped a muscular arm around her waist, practically carrying her to a nearby chair. She leaned against his strength, relishing in the warmth radiating from his body. She shivered, but not from fear. Whenever he was close to her, or so much as touched her, she nearly fell apart. She wondered if there was someone else that her heart belonged to that made her feel like melting whenever he touched her. A faint feeling of remembrance passed for an instant. She couldn't quite grasp it. Someone who reminded her of Ralph for some reason…

He let her go, reluctantly. She felt so good in his arms. He wanted to stay the night. To hold her all night until she felt safe again. But the cop in him wouldn’t let him cross the line. He reminded himself that he was there to protect her, not to pounce on her and began questioning her about the dream.

"Could you make out any of the faces this time."

"No, but this time I could see that I was tied up in some kinda barn. Or, maybe it was a ship's cabin. Now that I think about it, I do remember feeling a little sea sick."

She paused as she thought about the details of her dream.

"One of the voices seem to be familiar, like I knew them. I get the feeling that the person that I knew was trying to kill me. Why would anyone want to hurt me, Ralph?"

"I don't know, Karen. I can only give you my word that I'm doing everything in my power to help you. I won’t stop until I find the bastard that did this to you."

He sat down beside her and took her hand. Caramel eyes gazed into hers with such intensity that she had to look away.

How does he do that?, thought Karen. Just one look, and I lose all composure.

"Thank you, so much. I appreciate that very much. You know, you're all I have right now. For some reason, my subconscious has blocked out all memory of my previous life. It's so hard to trust someone when you feel so vulnerable, but from the beginning I knew I could trust you. Thank you for being there."

His voice changed to a low husky tone that sounded like he was struggling to speak.

"I promise I'll be there this time. I promise."

Karen turned to give him an inquiring look, but he'd already stood and started walking to the door.

Wait., she wanted to say. Stay with me tonight. I don't care about my past; I just want to be with you. But she held her mouth open as if to speak, then looked the other way, admonishing herself for her cowardice.

"If you need me, you know where to find me." he said behind his shoulders. He had to get out of there. Angry tears threatened to cloud his eyes. He wanted so much to be in the arms of a woman again; Karen, in particular. But he wouldn't allow himself such comfort. All he could think of was how he'd failed Anna when she’d needed him. How he’d worked so hard, he didn't come home from work the night before his wedding until a call came in on the radio that she'd been found dead at the bottom of the cliff two miles away from their house. Guilt raked his soul every night for the woman he’d loved and lost.

His keys jangled in his hands as he fumbled with his keys, trying to open his door. As he stepped inside his apartment he noticed for the first time how empty it all looked. Even his bedroom, he thought as he stood by his bed staring at his fiance’s picture, seemed unlived in. Like one of those rooms in a furniture store. In truth, it was. Since the death of his fiancé, Ralph had worked overtime to keep his mind off of her suicide. He’d tried, unsuccessfully because something just didn't sit right with his fiance’s alleged suicide.

They were to be married the very next day, and Anna seemed very happy. Why would she kill herself? Everything wasn't perfect between them, but she wasn't suicidal. He just knew it. Besides, why would she walk outside in the freezing rain in one of her flimspy nighties to kill herself?

No, he didn't deserve Anna, and he doesn't deserve anyone else either, he thought as his body lay down for yet another sleepless night.