Hesitant Dreams

It’s a dream
a dream that was set to never be bothered
a dream that made me toss and turn at night
never willing to go to bed; only the sound of whimpering,
sniffling; the warm drops roll out of my eyes and down my cheek,
is the one thing that puts me to rest.

Thoughts flow through my mind like there is no tomorrow
I glance at the clock,
3 hours have passed knowing that I have school in a couple hours,
I turn side to side feeling relaxed enough to close my eyes but the tense,
throughout my body, sends my nerves to be busy.
4 hours of sleep renews my life;
body tense from my sleep leaves me walking sore to school.

What type of dream is this
this isn't what I want, this isn't my
fantasy, my goal, my job...
this is a horrible; shitty,
f*cked up dream,
is this what I get in return,
after I tried to make it better I get weaker then when I try harder I feel strong,
but something; someone f*cks it up and I finish right were I begin.