Heartache

What is heartache?
Is it aching of the heart?
Or a hallow, empty feeling inside?
Oh how I long to know of what this horrid feeling is.
Is it like a bottomless pit with no way out?
Or an afflicting wound that seems to never heal?
Is it an agonizing and crucial feeling that never goes away?
It rips and tears at my heart leaving me screaming in pain.

My heart feels as though it can take no more,
As if it will shatter into a million pieces,
Never to be healed again.
I can see no way out of this pain,
Not without causing him pain,
For I dare not wish to do so.
I love him more than life itself.

He is my hero and my wonderful friend,
He is my only true light in this horrid world,
The one I can depend on always, no matter what,
He is the one I have turned to my whole life,
This will never change.
But he is causing dismay in my heart,
Seeing him with someone else.
For even though I know he is truly happy,

I still cannot shake this hurt I feel inside.
I want him to be happy,
So I dare not say what I truly feel.
But what am I to do?
Do I ignore this feeling until it dies down?
Or am I to shut him out of my heart?
Not letting him know what I feel or how I think?
I know talking does little good for it always comes back,

Am I to feel helpless, screaming inside for a true understanding?
For I feel as though it may consume me.
What is heartache?
Is it like a pain that consumes you?
Is it like a lock that desperately needs opening but has not a key?
Whatever this feeling is, I hope I can understand and control it someday,
Before it consumes me entirely,
Leaving me in utter darkness.