Hazing

Last fall many local residents in Millburn, New Jersey, were stunned to hear on the news that a group of senior high school girls had written up and passed out a "slut list" including the names of 21 female students, along with raunchy sexual comments about each one. Some of the seniors in the class also commanded that freshman females come to school wearing camouflage shirts, where they blew whistles into their faces and pushed them into their lockers. The scandal was prominent on national news coverage, because it took place at one of the most revered public high schools in the eastern United States. But something that followed on the heels of that episode went largely unnoticed by the mainstream media - a few days later the administrators of the middle school in town found out that girls there had created their own similar tradition, using text messaging to order some younger girls to wear a certain color of shirt to school, so they could be taunted and hazed also.

These stories exemplify the most disturbing aspects of hazing among teens - the way incidents quickly escalate from being bad to having much worse consequences, and the way hazing spreads downward to appeal to younger children. Most people think that hazing happens only in colleges or to athletes, but that is no longer true. Hazing is becoming prevalent among younger and younger kids, and hazing rituals are gradually becoming increasingly violent, often with sexual overtones.

One reason hazing is becoming so pervasive is that kids have a tendency of wanting to continually top the stunt that came before. For instance, a group of popular seniors might ask popular students in the freshman class to wear shirts of a specific color, so that the upperclassmen can tease them about being newcomers to the school. This sounds like good-natured ribbing, and doesn't harm anyone. But the next year, the senior class might escalate the hazing ritual to include physical actions, such as shoving or tripping. Then the next year, the ritual might escalate even further, to include sexual taunting. As kids rise through grade levels, they remember the hazing rituals they endured, and they decide to make it worse for the next in line.

Technology plays a large part in why hazing rituals have worsened in recent years. A major study conducted by the University of Maine determined that nearly half of all hazing initiation incidents end up online on YouTube and other social media sites. Because hazing is illegal in almost every state, and is specifically banned at most high schools and middle schools, the rituals are being driven underground. As is the nature of most black market illegal activities, the variations of hazing rituals are becoming more violent and disturbing, such as kids being forced to take drugs, chug down alcoholic drinks in fast succession, and even being bound and gagged and tossed into swimming pools.

Kids who take part in the hazing rituals usually don't intend for anybody to get hurt, but the rituals can be taken too far and incidents spin out of control quickly. A group of teenagers with a mission to embarrass or publicly deride others can quicikly become volatile. Nearly half of all high school students have experienced hazing by their graduation, and senior students in marching bands or athletic teams are the most notorious for hazing underclassmen. But nearly a fourth of the kids in church youth groups have also been subjected to hazing.

Enduring hazing rituals successfully can make kids feel respected and flattered, even if they disagree with the idea. The fact that they are being singled out can make them feel like they're becoming a part of the "in crowd" and being noticed, so they actually welcome the idea. And many believe that the rituals are actually beneficial to them, encouraging positive values such as discipline, commitment, and loyalty. The University of Maine study found that 31% of teenagers feel that hazing makes them part of the popular group, and 18% think that it makes them feel stronger. For competitive kids, especially, hazing can be perceived as a badge of honor. But for kids who find themselves caught up with participating in initiation rites, the consequences can be hard to handle. From problems sleeping to headaches, panic attacks, and depression, they can even end up with post-traumatic stress disorder.

What can parents do to protect their children from hazing? Experts say that it's vital to bring up the issue early, even as young as middle school. Make sure that your children know it's not a taboo topic of conversation, and you want them to be open to telling you if something is going on. Let them know that just because someone agrees to being humiliated, it doesn't mean that it's okay to participate in hazing. In the laws that prohibit hazing, there is no justification even if a child says they are willing. Explain to children that it is very important to put a halt to incidents before they even start, because although not all hazing rituals are violent and horrible, you are concerned about how seemingly innocent rites can quickly escalate to something traumatic and perhaps even life-changing. Although your children might be mortified for you to even discuss it with them, it is critical for them to know that hazing is absolutely, positively wrong. Otherwise, if you don't talk to them about it, you're just continuing to protect the "code of silence" that has clouded the issue of hazing for so long.