Guilt

You know,
I could sit here and feel bad for myself,
For the way things are going,
Or how the way life treats me.
But I can't let that effect the good things,
That I'm ever so lucky to have.

For one thing,
I'm blessed with an amazing boyfriend.
He's always there to catch me when I fall,
Or to wipe the useless tears away.
I wish I could be better to him in ways.
He shouldn't have to deal with my attitude,
Towards the little things.

I can make it rain on a sunny day
If you know what I mean.
I regret being upset around him,
Because he doesn't want to see me that way.
The least I can do is put a smile on my face.
He always makes me better,
No matter how bad the situation gets.

I sure wonder what people think of me now
After rumors have flooded everyone's ears,
For months now.
I can say I don't care.
I can say fuck the haters,
But it kills me inside.
Especially when I can't prove they are rumors.
No one wants to even listen,
So why even waste my time explaining?