Good Excuses for not Going to Work

Battling with the snooze option in my alarm every morning, I rationalize the most punch-drunk of excuses to call out of work and sleep for just a few minutes more. Those few minutes soak up a few more minutes, turning into hours, and a couple of hours more. No, I am no night owl, and definitely not someone who is worthy enough of calling herself a proud owner of a glitzy and adventurous life. My life is haywire, topsy-turvy, and full of chaos. Problems are a frequent occurrence, daily soaps are the only source of entertainment, and bad-hair-days/headache/mood swings/do-nothingness result in a skip from work, and the day goes away dull. For reasons I am yet to retrospect, there was never a viable cause (excuse would be more appropriate) I could draw close for not making it to office, and convince my head (the person above me at work I'm talking about) that I can't come to work - to a job where Sundays are the only days I'm allowed to live without seeing my boss. The excuses that I drop on my leave application form were always too funny (ridiculous actually) to be believed, not to miss that they did work most of the time. Some of them, I am pitching in, below. Take a look at how inane can excuses to get out of work be.

Disclaimer: Make sure your boss doesn't read it before. I'll make sure mine doesn't read it too.

Top Five Excuses for not Going to Work

1. To begin with, there is always a medical condition... critical medical condition every employee experiences. Even if you don't have one, you could always create. As an excuse, bring it into use on days you are just not in the mood to slog. For instance, I have a chronic backache problem, which always occurs at all the wrong instances. Fortunately, my boss is aware of it, and when I call him up with this excuse, he has no other option but to believe me. I know, I know. It's wrong on my part to play around with my own health and win sympathy, but what the heck? Why so serious when you didn't think even once before you skipped work?

2. Another excuse for not going to work is a family wedding. You know, one of my colleagues is skilled at stating wedding excuses, just so that he can go on a holiday with his mates, and celebrate a long weekend! All you need to do is, inform your boss a day before that you have an important family wedding the next day, and that your cousin isn't going to exchange rings with their bride/groom, if you aren't there. Even better. Hundred percent working.

3. Third and definitely a working one is an excuse only women can make use of. Menstrual cramps! You're extremely lucky if your boss is a female, for if he's a male, you can't even bring into use this excuse, forget it working. You could call your boss, and speak in a terrible voice that you cannot come for you've broken your back taking these abominable menstrual cramps. You could explain it even better to a female boss who's aware of this condition herself. It's impossible for this one to not work!

4. Car problems may sound hackneyed, but then, if you say that your car broke, or car keys are lost, or it's gone for servicing, your boss wouldn't send a Chevy with a chauffeur to pick you up from your place, would he? There you go. The trick here is, call him in a tone that you weren't aware of your car's condition until the next morning, when you were ready to get into it. Tell him that calling a taxi would cost you more than what you earn a day (NO! Don't say it ever. He'll fire you!). Fake we shall, but only after rehearsing 10 times before we call our boss. Getting?

5. I don't really like this one, but it's one of those excuses that would surely work. Use this only if it seems right to you. You could call your boss and say that your wife/mother/sister/girlfriend is severely ill, hospitalized, and that you need to take care of them. My conscience would never allow me to play, at least this way, with the health of my loved ones, but if the reason you've taken a leave from work is too personal that you can't tell your boss about it, this excuse will do the trick. Talk in a serious tone - but not so serious that your boss promises to visit your relative at the hospital after work!

I have been working since I was in my middle school, and believe me on one thing, there isn't a single work excuse today that I spared as a reason for coming late or not coming to work at all. But then, using the same excuses every third time you take an off doesn't seem right, does it? Just take account of one thing - your excuses should be something that can't be inquired of. Get your gray cells into action, think of some intelligent and creative excuse, and have a great escape.