Going Up?

How do you open women in elevators? I spend so much time in elevators – in my building, I’m in the elevator 20 times a day.

David: Let’s talk about elevators. Approaching someone in an elevator is the easiest thing in the entire world. Both men and women can use this technique – any person can use it.

Once again, you have to play the odds and the percentages. What do people do when they get into an elevator?

Client: They hit the button and they look up at the screen.

David: Right, they hit the button, they look up at the screen, and they don’t say a word. Even if two people are in the elevator and already talking, the minute you walk in they shut up, right?

So what I will do in an elevator is this: if I’m alone with somebody in there, I will look at her and I will say, "what floor may I get you?" She’ll say, "oh, I already pushed the button," and I’ll respond, "you know what’s missing in elevators? Concierge service! Wouldn’t it great if they still had the old-fashioned elevator rides? Have you ever gone to New York City in some of the old apartment buildings with the elevator operators? Wouldn’t it be great if all the elevators had elevator guys? And maybe even someone who like told a story or something? So you can be entertained on the way up, and you don’t have to think about the shit you have to do at work that day, or whatever it is."

That’s one elevator approach. Here’s another: there is a group of people in there and when you walk in, they get quiet.

I will walk in and say, "shhh! Quiet now. Don’t end the conversation because of me! What is it with the elevator – it’s unbelievable! Every time some stranger walks in and there is a group that knows each other, everyone stops talking! I’d much rather you guys keep talking! If it’s something interesting, I can participate and we can all have some fun! Why do we always have to just stare at the numbers?"

Another elevator approach that I’ve used is that the minute that the doors close, I say, "alright, let’s all look at the numbers right now and count out loud together like we’re in kindergarten again. One…two…buckle my shoe. Three…four…shut the door," or whatever – you just do a children’s rhyme.

So just go in and have fun. And once you get the humor out of the way, you can say, "hey, do you work in this building?" and then you can get into a conversation.

Client: I like this approach too, if I get into the elevator and there’s just another person, I can say, "why is it always so quiet in elevators?" and just use that as the opener.

David: That’s it! It doesn’t matter – you can use them all. There are so many different things that you can do, but the bottom line is that it’s always all about pointing out the obvious. Everything that I talk about, and everything that I do, is all about pointing out the obvious.

If you don’t point out the obvious, you just become like every other person. You’re looking for the perfect opener, it has to be PERFECT – and guess what? There is no perfect opener. It’s just about how you deliver it.

You can walk into a place and say absolutely anything – it all depends on how you deliver it.