Getting Your Child to Behave in Public

All parents want children who are polite and well behaved, but the topic of raising a well-mannered child is one of varied opinions. The subject is covered in much controversy, especially with regard to things like spanking, and what forms of punishment are acceptable, and how to get you child to talk to you. The fact is that raising an obedient child who doesn’t act like a monkey out in public is rather simple – but you first have to be acquainted with some basic principles.

The first problem is trust. Most children don’t actually trust their parents. Why is this? Because the parents are too lenient, and do not follow up with their promises. How many times have you heard a frustrated mother tell their child in the grocery store that if he doesn’t put the toy back she’s going to spank him, and when the child boldly refuses, she rolls her eyes, snatches the toy out of his hands, and puts it back? This is easy to do, but it’s a serious no-no. The first rule is that you should always do what you say you will. If you threaten to ground a child for doing something, and he or she does it, you have to ground them, and it’s important that you follow-through like this every single time.

When you punish a child for an undesired behavior, you are sending them the message that they will not be allowed to engage in such behavior without a negative consequence. Every single time you fail to do so you are establishing in their minds a pattern of inconsistency – times where you have said one thing, and done another. This leads to a lack of trust, where the child has no trust for your promises and threats. It can be extremely difficult, but make sure to always deliver if you set a rule or make a threat.

The next problem parents face is public embarrassment. Too many parents let their children get away with acting like a brat in pubic because they are embarrassed, and feel like it would be even more humiliating to punish the child in front of other people. This has to be overcome. Yes, punishing your child in public is a little embarrassing, but it’s something every parent has to deal with. Letting that child walk all over you, however, is not, and it is much more embarrassing.

The problem is that most parents do not have control over their children. Because of this, they feel like their children will misbehave regardless of whether they punish them or not, therefore they take the easier road and let them get away with it. This, however, is completely untrue. A caring, successful parent has control over their child. If you punish your child the very first time they act up in public, then you are sending them a very strong message. If they do so again, responding again with punishment enforces that message, and the amount of times they will openly disobey you in the future is drastically reduced. They will be much less likely to throw massive tantrums, and if they begin with a small misbehavior, it will be much easier to deal with.

The very worst thing you can do for your child is to let them misbehave without retribution. This is telling them that they can act however they desire without finding negative consequences, and is a lesson that you do not want them growing up with. It may seem like stern punishment is cruel, but in fact, ignoring the problem shows much less care and concern for your child. Make sure you always back up whatever threats you make and you’ll notice that not only is your child much better behaved but also, communication between you will be better.

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