Getting the Sex Life You Want and Deserve - Continuing with I

Heterosexuals, homosexuals, and those in between all want to improve their sex life. We all want "more"; we all want "better." In fact we want both more and better. What’s the problem, I want it, you want it, why not get together, right now? Alas, life and especially sex life is rarely that simple. You won’t find any magic pill, perfume, potion, or pick-up line that will get you where you want to be before the evening, or if you’re particularly ambitious, before the afternoon, is over.

There isn’t even any article that will manage your sex life for you, or transform a loser into a winner. However, it is possible to improve your sex life whether you are living and loving a great relationship, a successful swinger, a three-time loser, or just about anyone else. Sexual relationship success is partly common sense, it’s partly putting yourself in the other person’s shoes before putting…, and it’s partly something else. Well, you’ll have to read these articles to find out about the third part.

We have so many suggestions for improving your sex life that we are writing an alphabetical series of articles on what to do. Just so you don’t miss out, we are also writing an alphabetical series of articles on of what to do.. Don’t squander your time, effort, perhaps money, and perhaps love by putting your foot in your mouth when what you really want; we all know what you really want. We present a double series of articles for the letter I. Here the focus is on initiate, innovate, and intimacy.

I is for initiate. Whether or not you have a schmuck (penis for those not in the know), whether or not you are a schmuck (jerk for those not in the know), don’t stand around with your schmuck in your ear. Initiate proceedings. Do you like racist jokes? Or perhaps more appropriately (inappropriately) jokes that reinforce stereotypes? If not, skip to the next section. A boat carrying different nationalities was moored on a desert island. The Germans organized the inhabitants into an army. The French chased the local women. The Americans sold them all kinds of stuff that somehow they never had missed before. And the British, what about the British? They stood around waiting to be introduced. Don’t stand around waiting to be introduced. Initiate.

I is for innovate. Take your playbook and at the very least update your moves. Your partner may thank you for the changes. You may thank yourself for the changes as well. And be ready to accept changes from your partner or partners. Life without innovation can get boring. If you don’t innovate, maybe someone else will.

I is for intimacy. Don’t get me wrong. Intimacy doesn’t start or stop with sexuality. Intimacy is being together, of feeling together, and of thinking together. Personal intimacy does not have to exclude physical intimacy; the two complement each other. And I’ll let you in on a little secret, the stronger the personal intimacy the greater the chance of physical intimacy. But don’t go overboard. She may be looking for a special intimate but definitely not physical confidant with whom she can discuss her affairs of the heart. Interestingly enough, I never had such an "offer" when I had a partner, but I remember a few such "offers" when I was looking for something else, in my humble opinion, someone more intimate.