Get Your Ex Back

It was perfect when you were together. You jelled well, you understood each other, you were head over heels in love. You were almost there, on the threshold of the alter, till one of you balked. And things were never the same again. It may have happened that one of you thought things were going too fast, while the other was antagonized by the commitment issues of the former. Slowly and steadily the whole thing deteriorates into a ruinous bit of daily infighting and the couple break up. But the further apart you are from your ex, the more you want them closer, because somewhere down, you know that your ex was the perfect person for you.

What You Got to Do to Get Back

Well there are three basic scenarios one gets to see post a relationship break up. The first is where you two are both repulsed by each other and never want to see each other again. The second is where you both want to get back together in equal measure. And the third is where one of you definitely wants to get back together, but will need to earn the love of your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. So given that people in the first case won't read this article, and the second case require a simple call, a 'miss you' and a little coaxing, means we are only left with the third case. To get back, you will end up doing a lot of things, most of them wrong, a couple of them right. So here's a dos and don'ts guide. Let's start with the don'ts because you're so likely to make all of these mistakes.

The Don'ts of Getting Your Ex Back

• Do not appear desperate. Do not call up every hour, leave sweet messages and make it obvious that you want your ex back. This will make you look like a complete idiot and your stock in the eyes of your ex will drop dramatically, as you will seem like an absolute wimp.
• Do not shower your ex with gifts. Another thing guys do too often and see as their answer to how to get girlfriend back is a show of wealth. It takes more than just a bunch of gifts to fix your damaged relationship. And if it doesn't, perhaps you need to take a good hard look at the person you are/ were dating.
• Do not show off your rebound relationship. We see this one almost too often, don't we? Find a richer/hotter boyfriend/girlfriend, take them out to places you know your ex frequents and then do unspeakable things to show off. It never works, because this way your ex can see how cheap and vengeful you are.
• Going back to the first point, do not make yourself a punching bag. If you can get back with your ex and keep your self respect intact at the same time, that's the best deal you can get. Do not give up your ego either. The relationship will only get worse.

The Dos of Getting Your Ex Back

• Try and understand the mental position of your ex. Analyze if there is any chance of your getting your ex to reconcile with you. Because if there isn't, chasing your ex will be a pretty futile exercise. If you get the feeling that there is no way to get back, you ought to simply let it go.
• If there is still a chance, be yourself, because that's who your ex fell in love within the first place.
• Try to get your ex to meet you in a non-romantic setting. Like for a game, or to a place where you are meeting your common friends. This way, none of you feels uncomfortable with the situation and you have fun with each other.
• Compliment your ex on his or her looks, but don't take it overboard. Be courteous, friendly and at the same time, keep a check on your emotions and behavior.
• And the most important relationship advice, make your ex comfortable around you. It may be tough, given that you have a past together, but the comfort zone is still a good reason, why your ex too would want to get back with you.

The most important tip is to be yourself. Trying to change and be something you're not, rarely works and if and when it does, the couple generally end up unhappy with the sequel.