Furry Fandom!!

Have you ever heard of a "Furry"? I have…now. It’s basically a person, more than likely an absolutely insane one, who dresses up in an animal suit, much like the mascots you see at sporting events. These demented individuals often get together in groups at conventions or campfires or in the forest somewhere and proceed have dirty sex with each other while in costume. Then, they more than likely go out eating bugs and grass and shitting in the wilderness and whatever else real animals do these days. And I thought my life was ridiculous and shitty! I digress.

The point I’m trying to make here is that nobody told me that idiotic individuals such as these exist in the world. Nobody informed me that some people are lame and desperate enough to participate in such humiliating and degrading activities. Nobody told me any of these things before I went hunting last week. So when I reached a clearing in the forest and witnessed several large bears, a rabbit, and a fox dancing around a bonfire, I figured I was in a hunter’s paradise. When I blew every last one of them away with my rifle, I thought I’d just made the kill of a lifetime. When I skinned and gutted each of them, I figured it was only a coincidence that they looked a bit like humans under the fur. When I and my friends and family sat down and feasted hungrily on their cooked corpses, I was positively amazed at how delicious they tasted. Oh well. At the very least, I’ve rid the world of several dangerously disturbed individuals. Several delicious dangerously disturbed individuals. Plus, the bear looks terrific stuffed and mounted by my fireplace.